Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
You can always make the story sound more manly over lunch..?
BeccaHugs 17
Why do boys seem to think that girls like it or will be impressed by you doing stupid things? Trust me, she would have probably rather you just have been you than try to be "funny" like that. I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but just act like normal next time; be yourself.
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Comments (63)
ogle5431 1
Just tell her you did it to impress her. First, she'll be flattered and find it cute. Second, if you are willing to make fun of yourself in front of her she'll appreciate your confidence. In my experience women really like a man who is able to make fun of himself.
CanadianCutie22 16
haha that's awful
a7xinsane 5
Always a bad idea to show off for girls. Whatever the worst possible thing that could happen is. It will occur.
Mossadchick 5
I have friends who do things like this all the time. I usually just laugh it off because everybody's human. Hey man... At least you can have a little fun now and then.
GSU2013 6
I will never understand men's knowledge. "OMG, he can jump that high?! Oh I'm definitely sleeping with him" never crosses a woman's mind. EVER.
Anglaise 13
Humans: Zero. Poles: 5,347,609.
missathegirlwond 19
At least OP admits it was stupid.
DanielleinDC 34
You definitely deserve it, but at least you admitted it was an idiotic thing to do.
hateevryone 15
What a good way to impress someone.
SadIife 6
Lust makes people do stupid things...