Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML
Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.
MGSPOP 1
Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (226)
bvxf 2
First
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
You my friend, SUCK.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Good things take time…keep working at it! Eventually, you'll be the one knocking someone out cold within a matter of seconds. :)
SkoomaKi 28
You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.
brackaman 18
The rocky song maybe as well?
JocelynKaulitz 28
Good things take time, keep working at it! Eventually, you'll be the one knocking someone out cold within a matter of seconds. :)
egc573 40
That makes for a great montage, sure, but Rocky lost the fight in that movie!
perdix 31
A good song for the OP's UFC career would be: Nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, good-bye.
G3K0 7
This comment is completely irrelevant.
muzy 23
28- but he didn't let that loss keep him down. He came back and won. OP don't forget that a loss is just as valuable as a win so Keep at it.
rdrr 2
I must break you.
ComTlancy 12
Gonna need a montage! Montage!
expertsmilee 26
37 - You appear to have forgotten one hey good sir.
austin101123 3
Training with that song playing gives you a 40% skill boost.
krad204 21
I prefer being a champion in UHC.
jvillan87 5
I prefer to be a champion in THC.
raraisbang 12
161, wow you're cool.
laden_swallow09 35
Since when did THC have champions?
detroitsucks247 3
Just practice.
skynerd57 0
You must like skyrim...
jrockstar123 0
ya but a loss hurts more
christyxbee 15
Keep dreaming Hun.
mattjamt 16
76 - What the hell sort of sport do you compete in where a win isn't more valuable than a loss?
shifted 5
Maybe your just not meant for it...or its time for a serious comeback!
DontModMeDammit 10
You learn more from a loss than a victory, don't stop training and pushing, that shows the true heart of a champion.
NabbdjuretPerry 0
A real winner will always come back even better! C'mon OP, fight hard!
egc573 40
Couldn't agree more 26. Plus, it was the OP's first time. Who ever expects to succeed on the first try? I mean, if they do, it's usually because of luck, not skill.
DontModMeDammit 10
47 I wouldn't say it is all luck, there is still a level of skill that anyone who trains should have before they step in the ring, sparring is one thing but if a person is not ready for a fight their coach should be professional enough to not let them step into the ring.
egc573 40
I was actually referring to first times in general (your first driving lesson, your first job, etc.). Those kinds of things you don't exactly prepare for. You pretty much HAVE to mess up to really get better at all. Then again, I know nothing about martial arts, so maybe those first times are different. Nevertheless, OP should keep trying!
K_kanaka 26
Dude don't worry. Forrest Griffin lost his first fight too, and look at how far he went in his UFC career.
DontModMeDammit 10
56, you got a point, you are bound to get your ass kicked at some point when you start out, I know that when starting say BJJ you are just a body for the upper ranks to do w/e to. So I understand now what you meant abou luck.
AKGirlinSD 20
4 has a very good point, at least on the second half of the comment. I think it would give you more motivation to train harder :-). The same exact thing happened to my friend and he trained for over s year.
AKGirlinSD 20
A* not s. And on my EVO phone I can't edit my comments.
Akumie 6
That's okay. You just gotta keep training! When you get knocked down ya gotta stand up!
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
As 'I Love Lucy' has taught me, you have to get back up on the horse after you fall off or you never will! keep your head up OP, you can do it!
FreakoHolm 6
This exact thing happened on Friends...
DynamicDave 11
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down!"
MGSPOP 1
Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)
Drigr 9
B-b-b-but... I watched 6 hours of fights last night.... How could I lose...?
austin101123 3
That's not true. A combination of watching the pros and practicing is key. You have to KNOW what to do before you do it. I watch MLB and practice to get better; it works well for me.
Superstitious 6
Watch less and train more. I watch **** all day, but I'm certainly no ManDingo
alexphyllis 5
I suggest a new dream. With less unconsciousness.
spacemanspiff78 7
Or you can keep jumping off buildings hoping God will give you wings. Time to find a new career path, OP.
bmkc4 1
How can you just tell someone to change their dream? You have to work to succeed and maybe OP just isn't ready yet.
klovemachine 24
The people who voted YDI for this FML are failures in life and I hope their dreams don't come true :) go for your dreams, OP, don't let one fight end your dreams!
SpartanCEL 6
I agree with 111, a guy who used to be my schools Spanish teacher, let that settle in, was and is an professional fighter(I believe UFC, but I just know he can use his arms and legs) He's nicknamed the "Spaniard"
tannerianian 11
Maybe fighting isn't your thing. Join the peace core!
R00ST3R 12
How about peace corps?
mariah_victoria 0
You're ******* beautiful. I love you.
sinkmyanchor 0
Immature.
AKGirlinSD 20
51, at least they only have to deal with one season :-).
bvxf 2
Darn my first comment was deleted, life means nothing now
LunarSoul 0
First time in a fight is always hard OP. Good luck next time! :)
munchy22 5
I bet that humbled you up a bit.