Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
You can always make the story sound more manly over lunch..?
BeccaHugs 17
Why do boys seem to think that girls like it or will be impressed by you doing stupid things? Trust me, she would have probably rather you just have been you than try to be "funny" like that. I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but just act like normal next time; be yourself.
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Comments (63)
perdix 31
I'll bet when you set out on this date, you didn't think you'd be the one taking a pole to the face.
diaspora_fml 26
elegant perfection!
MigraineurOfLife 15
This could of went much worse. He's lucky he didn't end up with another pole between his legs.
bvxf 2
Haha
suckmylife669 0
The pole high fived your face
KaylaDawnn 5
I feel so sorry for her.
fthku 13
When something can't even pass as a story for a porno movie, don't do it. I mean, what did you think would happen, anyway? *High-fives stop sign* "Oh my, make love to me!"
AaliyahMorgan143 5
Who were you showing off for?? You weren't there yet!! *Red Forman Voice* Dumb ass ._.
Shelta957 13
He was probabaly walking with his girlfriend
YourMoms_BF 2
5 years old aren't supposed to date.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Sounds like you shouldn't either, seeings how hard it is for you to make a coherent sentence.
_wraith 15
Sorry 54, Mom's BF hadn't seen the memo that idiots are now swarming the comments on the FML page. I'll make it easier for you to understand. By saying that OP is 5 years old, 48 is implying that the OP is extremely immature and therefore is too young to date. The sentence is perfectly coherent - but than again I figured it was a 'using a word out of context' situation. Its okay, its an early morning for me, too.
aleeshttylXD 9
the pole was just high giving u back! ydi
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
"decided it would be a good idea to show off" is means for a YDI. If you want her to like you so much, just treat her well, OP. If she's a good girl, shell return the favor.
_wraith 15
And you'll receive an ocean of love!
LuckyLynx7732 5
I would say YDI, but at least you realize it was an idiotic move, even if it was a bit late. So there is still some hope for you.