Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
You can always make the story sound more manly over lunch..?
BeccaHugs 17
Why do boys seem to think that girls like it or will be impressed by you doing stupid things? Trust me, she would have probably rather you just have been you than try to be "funny" like that. I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but just act like normal next time; be yourself.
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Comments (63)
greedmaster 0
Well did she take the poll in stead of you knowing it beat you up.
shorty1015 0
Lmao. And this is why you for show off. Sorry. Lol
m3lyc 18
Am I the only one who laughed really hard at this?
cuddlypuppies21 4
Well its true that when guys do dumb things and win at it their ego goes up
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Well at least you realize it was a less-than-smart thing to do. lol, well I hope that girl had a heart and thought it was cute and funny c:
someguy314159265 15
YDI, but I will give it to you, you were honest enough to yourself to mention that it was a stupid thing to do, which is more than I can say for other such stories.
yuri63f6 7
Ooh... So THATS where i dropped the butter...
Xethinus 1
Hey man, I understand. Just remember that, should you make it anywhere, she'll think it's cute in a month or so.
tybird 6
You deserve a high five for that one
iRatedxR 2
Guys I think that he went out the lunch with her and he tried to do that . He didn't bruise himself on a separate occasion , it happened when he was with the girl.