Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I was texting while riding my bike (yes, I know, terrible idea). I crashed right into a lamppost, and, even worse, a woman walking by laughed and asked, "Did you just text yourself into that pole?" I just laid there hoping for the ground to swallow me up. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML
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Top comments
klovemachine 24
And you decreased your chances of reproducing :D
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
"Wanting to impress..." = instant YDI. Bonus points because they were total strangers.
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Comments (75)
glitz1234 6
Lol omgzzzz!!!
klovemachine 24
And you decreased your chances of reproducing :D
klovemachine 24
Edit: OP is female :( Oh well, it would have been funnier if OP was male
lilhellian 27
No.. Op is male..
eddeeezzyy 19
I'm just on crack, but that's just me.
NeinKittenz 20
#10 you're telling me they aren't supposed too? Shit..
klovemachine 24
Oh well...I hate those stupid symbols by the OP's name (hangs head in shame)
BellaBelle_fml 23
Of course women have balls! Ours are just bigger than men's so we have to put them on our chest to prevent chaffing.
Trisha_aus 15
And...what did you find Noor?
Justy101 23
Thank god for that.
wlddog 14
33 - i find your comment both rude and hilarious.
bach2121 13
I guess i would've laughed too
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Hate show offs... Serves you right!
TheApostate 8
Pride before the fall.
buster113 15
Just like you picture
brittyboo123 35
Someone's pain is someone else's laughter.
Trisha_aus 15
And here we are on FML!
perdix 31
#4, the Germans capture that whole sentence in a single word: Schadenfreude. It's even on my FML T-shirt.
adriandurnell 5
that's for sure lol
MuseFan1991 14
i was trying to work how to spell that Perdix :) i love you i would have found it hysterical if i saw it
RpiesSPIES 27
Never try and do something to impress random people unless you're a professional. Otherwise you end up hurting yourself... I speak from experience.
Pstraka6 20
Practice first my friend
kyrisonfusion 22
Don't try to look cool....it didnt really work did it?
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
"Wanting to impress..." = instant YDI. Bonus points because they were total strangers.
iamananglophile 18
Exactly what I came here to say.
ragini95 16
I don't get why that is? Everyone likes attention, it's not terrible of him to want some praise geez.
doodlecloud 27
Completely agree - I could understand if he was trying to impress his mates but total strangers? Who craves that much attention, needs people they don't know to like them so desperately? That's just sad...
AthiestNun 11
Just pretend it was all a part of the trick.
perdix 31
He was probably disappointed that he didn't get video! Tosh.0 needs shit like that!
3rdbass 9
What Daniel Tosh needs is to stop impersonating Joel Mchale.