Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I slipped while getting off a bus and caught myself dramatically on the handrail. As I spun around like a stripper, the bus driver stared as if I’d performed a stunt. I nodded like it was planned and walked away, limping slightly. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
You can always make the story sound more manly over lunch..?
BeccaHugs 17
Why do boys seem to think that girls like it or will be impressed by you doing stupid things? Trust me, she would have probably rather you just have been you than try to be "funny" like that. I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but just act like normal next time; be yourself.
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Comments (63)
WoahBeanyBabiez 5
Maybe Americans should change their traffic lights to prevent this from occurring on regular basis.
ebonyirony 29
It has nothing to do with that. If we switched to yours, he might have jumped to hit the little walking guy. Don't be anti American. I'm an Anglophile. But I can make an exception for you, bitch.
gracehi 33
Or perhaps we should imprison all stupid people. That would prevent all kinds of mishaps.
WoahBeanyBabiez 5
Wow, shit just got personal. I suggest if you can't take a joke, maybe you get off this site. Babes.
starflyer59 17
nobody said this happened on a regular basis.. secondly, duck face. BANG!
JessicaNB 2
Laugh it off OP. If all else fails, scream ”YOLO, bitches!” And go at the sign again.
FMLshark 12
So he goes from looking like an idiot, to looking like a complete moron. Great advice.
linkinpark98 24
...That would make him look like more of an asshole.
perdix 31
Keep trying, bro! Girls really go for guys with great jumping ability. I used to get laid all the time by showing off my 14-inch vertical ;) A very wise man once told me through an epic song-poem: Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump. Get it and jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump.
rubberduckie94 13
I guess there are no David Lee Roth era Van Halen fans out there predix. What's wrong with the world today?
Alphakhiash 13
At least you know you're a stupid jackass.
HooHooHa 6
D'aww, make her kiss your boo-boo
sillysh 0
Atleast you probably made her laugh:) that's the way to win a girls heart.:p
xgetxbentx 13
Girls don't find that stuff impressive.
patrickalamo 48
Oh ya and they don't fall for cheese lines either.
FMLshark 12
"Ay girl, you be lookin' sharp as cheddar." No shit cheese lines never work on girls.
Laceyfrogs8 6
if the pick up lines are cute and cute and funny then maybe. if they're dumb and too cheesy then no. all girls are different.
linkinpark98 24
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I think the girl laughed her ass off, and now she thinks of you as that one guy friend who happens to be funny. You might have just friend-zoned yourself.
RoseCrystal 17
I'm assuming the red hand on the sign was like a stop sign (depending on the country). So you would have to say that the sign effectively stopped you in your tracks with the lady? =^^=
mrszane93 5
You tried OP...... Well, On to the next one.