Sexy
Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML
Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Today, my boyfriend's tooth got caught on my nipple ring and ripped it out. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
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Top comments
mt631 18
I'm sure he wasn't too pumped about the lap dance after that.
Vintage_Cola 29
Holy shit! I hope he's okay! FYL
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Comments (134)
Vintage_Cola 29
Holy shit! I hope he's okay! FYL
BrickTamlandLamp 13
Not even lap dances are safe these days.
TrippingOnAcid 29
He'll be fine. The ripping out part may hurt but having the insulin pump out won't matter. Most people manage diabetes through injections. Why anyone has a pump is beyond me...
amberv61 22
#13, I took care of a 4th grader that had a pump so she would not have to inject herself. I can see why some people have pumps
marcranger 29
13, it's much easier and less painful to control insulin levels with a pump. Why more diabetics aren't on it if their insurance will cover it is what's beyond me.
pandalover69 26
I've almost done that before. But the pump eventually broke anyway.
pandalover69 26
@13, actually a pump can really help manage diabetes better then injections. Pumps deliver a little bit insulin here and there, and now they have pumps that monitor your highs and lows, that sounds better then giving yourself injections.
cryssycakesx3 23
maybe #13 likes to be poked all the time...
haddiej 21
There's nothing wrong with injections. My son chooses injections over a pump. Neither choice is wrong.
lexa1love 16
I think it's a matter of personal preference. However, young children often have more stable levels and seem to react better to the insulin pump. If it were me I would rather just be able to set my levels and do a bolus, instead of having to do multiple injections a day.
rhoeft95 11
I'm diabetic. Insulin pumps are pretty much an artificial pancreas. It's makes managing diabetes ten times easier
NinjaDitto623 14
More like f the boyfriend's life.....
yerawizardlizzy 27
I knew a couple girls at my dance school growing up who had pumps. It was much more efficient to have one and keep dancing rather than stop throughout classes. It was also a lifesaver at competitions!
CoGhostRider 31
@13: People with type 1 diabetes have to inject after any food intake that's why they have a pump usually. Also for the record type 1 is not related to obesity.
mantisman1212 10
Ya know, your a special type of stupid
botanistjessica 24
You shouldn't insult someone if you can't spell "you're" properly.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I know what type 1 diabetes is, thanks. An uncanny number of friends/relatives have it. But from my personal experience the only one who uses a pump is my mums fiancée's son who is forced into it by his control freak mother. It seems to cause him nothing but problems and it seems to me that if he has a pump now he'll struggle to manage his diabetes properly on his own later. Just going by what I've seen, sorry.
n1962 1
#13/109 - Everyone reacts differently, no two people have the same control over their condition. I guess you didn't stop to consider that maybe the kid would be in worse shape if his mother wasn't being a "control freak" [and young kids, as they grow, often struggle with control issues... yay hormones!]. And the conclusion that he'll struggle to manage it later because he is on a pump now is completely without merit. Besides the convenience of a pump, the ability to more closely mimic what a functioning pancreas does is even preferred over multiple daily injections. And for the record, yes, I'm Type-I and yes, I use a pump.
popprock 13
If you didn't want so many hate comments you should've phrased your words differently. That sounded rude and somewhat ignorant...
mt631 18
I'm sure he wasn't too pumped about the lap dance after that.
zevo1415 10
That was a stretch man
Lebeaugars95 20
someone's trying hard, idk who, but someone is
ihpp 22
accidents happen! I do hope he's okay and gets the issue taken care of though.
tygerarmy 35
Oh baby you, got what I need! My insulin, it's attached to your leg, seriously I need that back.
Enslaved 38
I read this like Biz Markie's "Just a Friend"
\ 28
I tried to as well, but the melody didn't match
AlwaysWatching 27
That's the point
monkeybuns 1
It's actually really easy to rip out a pump. I have one too and I rip mine out all the time. All it takes is a little tug.
MACARONInCHEESE 10
WTF how does that even happen?
lsvxoxo 12
It's not weird, (if it's the same as my boyfriend has). There is the pump and that pump has a wire that is attachted to his belly or his bum. That wire is pretty long so the cange is big that you accidentally rip it. It happens all the time
coried91 28
I used to have mine ripped out on everything. The damn pump wire is a pain. It gets easily caught. OP if your boyfriend can afford it tell him to try the cordless on. I heard they're much easier.
ohSNAPyall 27
She got too into "Pour Some Sugar on Me."
MyUsernameKatie 31
I once got my cord caught on a drawer, but it actually tore the skin open and it bled everywhere. It was really gross. I often forget I have the little cord and I get it caught on door handles, purses, really anything that sticks out. I once had a little kid yank it out too (that was painful and disturbing for both of us). So, that's how it happens #5. I also suggest OP's bf should disconnect his cord before having sexy time.
monkeybuns 1
One I was sitting down and I missed the chair and I hit my back against it. The only problem is that's where my site was and I ripped it out. On the last day of school when all of my supplies were at home and not in the office. It bled all over.
bluucat 17
Be more careful next time?
ItsAUnicorn 27
Diabetes~ ruining moments
robertmil90 10
I'm diabetic and it really does
invadermaythe1st 35
Not to mention lives...
Drake_The_Dragon 23
Oh ya yes yes yes NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!
guitardude69 11
Your profile picture made me cringe xD
Drake_The_Dragon 23
:) I tend to make people do that.
r_u_happy 7
That had to hurt! Hope he's ok.
winchestinalock 21
I hope he's okay now and that the lapdance was atleast worth it!