Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thebigslim 13
Was it at least a flavored condom?
sportmaster525 0
i don't think thats what he meant when he said "now open up and swallow"...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
irishdubr 0
Ur a moron. U don't put rubbers in ur mouth unless u want that shit to break. Good luck with ur pregnancy
ndawgg 6
Something tells me she didn't have sex.
Drakon_fml 7
Thread over. You win.
Trollinggx3 0
YDI for being so stupid for putting rubber in your mouth. Dumbass.
boysxrulex09 0
you deserve it for trying to suck dick. this is why girls suck. ugh
FoundManyLemons 0
Win.
DW_fml 0
damn I came in to say what #1 said for me.
youngboss_fml 2
youre stupid and u must be so borin in bed
G_ford11 0
retarded.... why would you do that?
510killa 0
maybe he wasnt doing cpr, maybe he was just doing u from behind haha
SadinSherman 16
Am I the only one that thought OP was a man?
bishoprsv2 0
ROFL YOU DESERVED IT!
thebigslim 13
Was it at least a flavored condom?
Jemm_fml 29
Why have I read this FML before? I may have moderated it. hmm. Anyways it's hilarious but ouch. FYL indeed.
dancin303 0
there was one really similar to it a while ago
khatuba 0
hahahahahhaha
Dubble_fml 0
FAVORITED !!!
yaktazuki 0
Sucks
Jemm_fml 29
I knew it!
bubblemari 2
lol at least u found out! :D
sportmaster525 0
i don't think thats what he meant when he said "now open up and swallow"...
fina444 10
lol
alex_vik 1
Wow, this is at least the second time someone on here has done that. Oh, and how is putting a condom on with your mouth sexy?
yxeshctib 2
wow, FAIL!!! plus just get on the pill and you won't have to worry about condoms. plus guys prefer to go comando when it comes to protection! and it's kinda hotter if the guy doesn't wear one!
dabomblyktiktikk 0
maybe her boyfriend has aids or something.
drunk_bitch 11
The pill isn't a 100% at preventing pregnancy and neither is a condom. And a man's pull out game isn't always strong.
TheUnknown_fml 9
I don't believe this one.
plexico 4
Did he at least give you some anal during the maneuver?
lessthanbee 0
bwahahaha, plexico, ftw!