Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
Blink_me26 21
Ouch. Maybe save your kink for further down the track OP :P
Welshite 40
Well you might have taken your inspiration too far, given your nickname. Clawing is a special skill that shouldn't be abused. Maybe try a scratching post next time.
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Comments (92)
Dubeinwyo 5
Maybe he was just a big O'l pussy
sonictardis 8
as a back scratcher myself, you more than likely over did it. there's a fine line between sexy pain and ****-that-hurts pain. ydi
AnnaMariaMc 8
Your boyfriend is a girl
sadiemarie1 13
hmm, what a baby.. my man loves the scratching.
ToxxicNeko 12
Everyone has their own personal preferences. You really can't compare likes and dislikes that way. It's not fair and everyone is different.
dannnngthatsux 19
And her opinion is that if she's with a guy and he doesn't like it 'he's not a man' or in better words, i.e. not right man for me.
i_h8t_everything 12
For most, raking feels good. But for some, you gotta do it light as a feather.
ToxxicNeko 12
It happens to everyone at some point. Or something similar. Don't be discouraged though. Just talk to him about what he likes and doesn't like and vice versa. Maybe he just has a low pain tolerance and it doesn't turn him on. Either way... I'm personally curious as to why he was limping. If you clawed his back, that shouldn't have made him limp. Lol.
lil_mars 1
Aw sorry, hun. Don't TRY to be sexy, just be confident that you're hot as shit and be natural. Talking with him about both of your likes, dislikes, fantasies, and questions in regards to sex will help a LOT. Then you don't have to guess or make a fool of yourself trying to be sexy.
dannnngthatsux 19
Um, that's masochist, sadists give it. Not for you I guess, but it rules me up when I know my wife is feeling that strongly. A little blood to me means she wasn't thinking 'beige, definitely beige'
dannnngthatsux 19
no. definitely not virgin. and had it done many times. It just ain't your thing. As to his reaction, trying 'Ow! That hurt! ...Where were we...?" Seems the manly thing to me.
Futacy 30
You probably hit his bacne by accident.