Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
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Top comments
igese 11
start jacking off next 2 her
Argumental_Rhino 8
You must be doing something wrong.
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Comments (201)
c73george 3
Oh geeze not a good sign. Spit in her food you'll feel better... I work at McDonald's
freestyledrummer 0
Should of start sucking on her tit, bet she wouldn't of said no if you just did it
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, just because your wife was having a little bit of 'alone time' doesn't mean you're insufficient or 'not doing it right.' ;P Perhaps she was right near the end of a speedy trip to 'O-town' and didn't wanted to ruin the ride. Enjoy the show, and after her solo joyride, give her a trip for two, if she's up for it. :) Seriously though, don't take it personally. It sounds like she's obviously very comfortable with you and has no thoughts that you should feel insecure about this in any way. :)
lexi365 20
It's alright OP, you can try again later.
DiamondKid511 3
Hey i heard u like making new frends:) im a frendly guy:)
mredgecrusher 0
Honestly dude, some of these people are right. Just sit back and watch. Maybe she had the urge and couldn't find you ATM, so she took manners into her own hands, like they all said, just enjoy the show, let her finish and then do it for her if she's in the mood. Just throwing in my two cents.
GLbarrett 2
WOW!! That's so wrong! If my hubby caught me I would never tell him NO!! He can jump in anytime!!
FreeHandGrifter 0
you gave her a choice?
kumar1995 4
rejected! good luck next time ;)
Ceejay1 13
Sounds like you are not doing your job.
firefighterjohn 9
dam wish my gf did that