Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
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Top comments
igese 11
start jacking off next 2 her
Argumental_Rhino 8
You must be doing something wrong.
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Comments (201)
xqtmvzwr 1
That's a straight shooter right there, amirite.net ?
darkangel752 2
I would be thinking your doing something wrong.
TommyBoyyy 5
Shoulda just whipped it out n slapped her with it lol
hurray4jmk 1
So? What's wrong with that? Sometime people just want to finish themselves off.
sambudd14 2
Ujelly?;)
mrsmillsy 10
Maybe she just didn't feel like sex, just quick pleasure without having to worry about someone else? Nothing wrong with that.
RedSnow_fml 0
Take notes. Now.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why is everyone saying OP deserves this? He did nothing wrong and did what any man in his situation would do. Just because she rejected him doesn't mean anything.
marx50 3
Naturally?
hellokatie8 5
Let her go for it. Once she's gotten it maybe she would be up for some sex with you?