Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
igese 11
start jacking off next 2 her
Argumental_Rhino 8
You must be doing something wrong.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
LoganBurrito 6
Good ol' Louisiana women.
BrotherTheo 31
*shrugs* Sit back, relax and enjoy the show! Also, think of it as a learning experience. This is a fine opportunity to learn what your woman likes dude, don't waste it.
auspycious 0
******* OWNED
laughingat 1
Put a video recorder in your room and check how often she masturbates. Maybe she wants to be banged more frequently than you can imagine or handle.
Pazu_fml 10
Or he could talk to her like a socially-functional human being might. You know, before going for the serial-killer-level creepy route.
mariazzz 5
Good on her! If I were you op I would've stood in front of her and started playing with my own equipment. Then when she's done tell her it's your turn and take her!
tweimorts 4
It's your fault. Try harder in bed, bud. (;
PlaidPanda 9
I thought this was a fantasy for quite a few men, to watch their woman **********? Or is my husband just a freak? ;)
spannerman 1
We love to watch
unicornsbears 5
So true....... That's the good thing about being a southern woman, we don't need a man to do anything for us no matter what it is. It most not b to her satisfaction if she is doing it by herself and don't want your help.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Even if she didn't mean it in a bad way, that is still kinda bitchy of her. Way to make your man feel useless. I'd say make her take care of herself for the next 3 months if she likes it so much.
niplipsip 9
what's he going to do for these three months assuming he also wants to play with more than his hand?
karen1991 15
Well I guess as the old saying goes, If you want something done right do it your self. Lol