Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm sick of my wife’s attitude. Apparently, when she has the kids by herself it’s "parenting", but when I have the kids it’s “babysitting” or “helping out” or my new favourite “the least you can do, you lazy asshole.” When added up, I parent the kids by myself more hours than she does. FML
Today, my husband is mad at me. Why? The family from his brother's wife's side isn't lifting a finger to help during her pregnancy. Observing this, I informed him that I would not be supporting her post-delivery, as my job and my kids are my priority. He thinks I offended him and his family for some reason. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my wife admitted she loves me as a father to our children, but is no longer attracted to me. FML
Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML
Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, I’m tired of being blamed that my kids don’t want anything to do with their dad. He somehow forgot that they saw him cheat on me while I was in the hospital, got another woman pregnant while we were still married, and put her kids above them. He made his bed, so why am I the bad guy? FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
Are you really that stupid?? You asking for it says that YOU think she cheated! It says that you don’t trust her! Dude, you’ll need to do some serious damage control on this one. I suggest you get yourself into therapy to find out why you don’t trust your wife. Unless, of course, you’re accusing her of cheating because you’re projecting. Which means that you’ve cheated on her. In that case, I hope she dumps your sorry butt.
soundsfakebutok 10
are you stupid? you don’t understand why she’s offended you accused her of cheating?
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Comments (18)
TomeDr 25
Are you really that stupid?? You asking for it says that YOU think she cheated! It says that you don’t trust her! Dude, you’ll need to do some serious damage control on this one. I suggest you get yourself into therapy to find out why you don’t trust your wife. Unless, of course, you’re accusing her of cheating because you’re projecting. Which means that you’ve cheated on her. In that case, I hope she dumps your sorry butt.
soundsfakebutok 10
are you stupid? you don’t understand why she’s offended you accused her of cheating?
maverick83 15
Trust is THE fundamental element of a relationship. Unless you have good reason to believe she cheated, you shouldn't suggest something like that.
Evolving_Squid 15
I disagree. The tests should be mandatory, and there's no shame in asking. Given the gravity of the situation, there's absolutely nothing for him to lose by getting a test, and if she hasn't cheated, there's nothing for her to lose. In fact, she gains the ability to have an irrefutable argument about trust if the test comes back as his. IMO *WOMEN* should want these tests as much as any man.
idragosani 17
Has she ever given you any indication she might be cheating? Of course she's offended you'd accuse her of something like that.
poopface82 25
For ****’s sake, I haven’t even asked for a paternity test for my kids with my cheating fuckhead of an ex. Unless you’re concerned they were switched, you’re being a jackass.
wrecklesswfire 3
she’s offended that you even asked. what is your reasoning? you should have some kind of evidence before requesting something like that. you are basically saying you don’t trust her. this should be obvious
Hangryko 32
Unless you have concrete evidence of her cheating, do her a favour and get a divorce. She doesn't deserve an untrusting misogynist, and the kids deserve a father who truly loves them. Why the hell do you want paternity tests, anyway? Sounds like you're actually the one who cheated, and now you're projecting. Have fun being proven the father in court and paying child support. Also, downvoting everyone who has disagreed with you so far proves you're the problem.
L0life29 6
was there cheating in the past? if not…which it sounds like….youre a piece of shit
BurnInDemonFire 39
What kind of stupid bastard are you, you stupid bastard?
Underscore_foo 5
Women make no sense? You have no one else to blame but yourself. Why on earth should the woman that has developed and birthed your baby after 9 months go through with a paternity test. Can you imagine the trauma that her body has gone through, and you ask for something as stupid as that…