Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
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Top comments
igese 11
start jacking off next 2 her
Argumental_Rhino 8
You must be doing something wrong.
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Comments (201)
AKGirlinSD 20
Just like most men, women enjoy masturbating just as much. They even watch **** too :-O!...Even though we all know women only belong in the kitchen...kidding!
im_smart 0
Dumb ass... BONE FIRST THINK LATER
Love_marilyn 0
Yes trust me women love masturbating just as much as men, if not more considering the fact you guys only have 4000 nerve endings and we have 8000. So technically it feels better for us;) and just ask if u can watch and if she says no then give her space. Then ask if she can pleasure you afterword
mckaylanicole59 4
you have obviously failed...
Queen_of_Night 20
Been there, done that. Never had a guy get me off before so if I want an awesome time I got to roll up the sleeves and get the job done myself. I actually prefer masturbation over sex. Considering I don't think any of us knows OP or his wife, it could be she just didn't want sex or it could be he really does suck at it. But no sense in ripping a guy who's already down.
AnimationStation 3
Work on your technique and surprise her with it, so maybe next time she'll let you in on it ;)
Marissa1586 18
AHAHA xDDD Don't worry though duii they're two completely separate things
jordan_anne 4
LOL I PISSED MY PANTS LAUGHING!!!
juanmanuel 0
HAHA get destroyed sir.
JacobClay_XP 1
Why you gotta ask? Lol just do it.