Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
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Top comments
igese 11
start jacking off next 2 her
Argumental_Rhino 8
You must be doing something wrong.
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Comments (201)
LGFUADnow 12
Your soldier is losing the battle.
iilovecokee 6
Maybe it's the fact that you asked. It's like making a schedule to **** every Sunday at 7:30. Where's the fun and excitement in that? You should have made her feel as if seeing her touch herself was the most arousing thing you're ever layed eyes upon. Take come control man, surprise and excite her by being spontaneous. And if she rejects you, you'd be in the exact same place you are now.
chevonfinley 8
If she doesn't want him, I'm pretty sure that's rape.
Transform 3
Masturbation > Sex. Somethings wrong.
KaiserSD 8
Welcome to the wonderful world of marriage, where the male genitalia is pretty much worthless.
379_fml 11
Mutual ************ can lead to multiple rounds of sex in a monogamous relationship if she likes to watch.... Till she makes it not monogamous behind your back... Get some stamina ASAP
jazzybaby179 22
You need to start training yourself to pleasure your woman!
kdmozzfreak 2
well im pretty sure she didnt mean it in a rash way..... maybe she just needed some alone time. i know i need some alone time from my man....cause every once in awhile it feels good to let myself reach an ****** by my own self. but then again if was in a rash way then fyl and if you were meant to stay and watch to add more excitement to your love life then ydi
grannygruber 6
Wouldn't worry about it, unless by speaking you ruined the fantasy she had going and pissed her off! Honestly, on the rare occasion my man walks in on that, he has learned to be quiet as a church mouse and enjoy the show, otherwise I get self conscious and he ruins it for both of us!
jordansoriano 0
One lucky man