Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
What's going on?
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
Weirdo alert!
Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Wrong place, wrong time
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
Never cross the streams
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML
Top comments
Enslaved 38
Should have hit him with your car like GTA.
juturnaamo 29
Because it would've been fine if he had been mugging a man?
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Comments (121)
Enslaved 38
Should have hit him with your car like GTA.
tormcn 26
Or should have broke up with him.
NeatNit 33
in GTA you'd be running over the woman, not the mugger ;)
logicnazi 18
In GTA you are the mugger lol
zahidnasir 22
And he would have saved himself like a pedestrian in midtown madness
fuckedPriceless 17
in GTA she would have pulled out a flamethrower
moh907 10
Am I the only one who goes after the mugger in GTA?
TheIronFez 13
Now why would you JUST break up?
TheIronFez 13
I do too sometimes.
MorsFalce 12
but in GTA I always hit both...
gm1beanzz 14
In Soviet Russia, you'd be the woman.
christinamarie17 29
97, it would have been funnier if you said something like in soviet Russia, pedestrian mugs you!
skyrim_fanatic 17
#20: well you must be fun at parties. you stupid twat
MdMan2 23
Sorry about that, OP. Sounds like you need to have a long talk with him.
Shrike 24
Maybe I'm just a really fast talker or something, but "You're dumped" doesn't seem like it'd take very long to get across.
TheIronFez 13
What the hell is wrong with you?! You're basically saying "Don't call the cops, just break up instead!"
sonasonic 34
I'm sure a talk would snap him right out if his deadly criminal tendencies, among other things.
Shrike 24
69, assuming you're talking to me, that's not what I'm saying at all. I was replying to MdMan's moronically naive opinion that a long, meaningful chat with a scumbag mugger is a good way to go. Of course she should report him to the police.
iwanttogotoparis 26
If he's disrespectful to other women he does not deserve you
juturnaamo 29
Because it would've been fine if he had been mugging a man?
wheresmymary 22
If he's mugging someone he deserves to be arrested
fuckedPriceless 17
because disrespecting a certain gender is the problem a hand here....not the fact that he's MUGGING a PERSON, right?
sonasonic 34
Awww the gender discrimination is cute. Not.
gracehi 33
Guys, stop being dicks. There's a good chance the asshole picked his victim in part or wholly because she was female, since, as a member of the physically weaker sex, she'd be less capable of defending herself than a man. That's what violent criminals do. They are opportunistic and therefore prey on those who pose the least amount of threat to them. Part of respecting women is not brutalizing them and taking advantage of their physical disadvantages. That is clearly what #3 meant. And she's absolutely right. If this piece of shit is capable of brutalizing one woman, he's likely to brutalize another.
rabid_otaku 29
He should've gone to a Dane Cook show instead. I love me some Dane Cook.
brand125 17
the actual ****?
Welshite 40
Yeah...I'm pretty sure both are illegal.
mif_fml 27
well.. yes.. but very inappropriate comment nonetheless.
DFMLharsh 20
I'm going to down vote you #4. Better than sucker punching you.
jack67_fml 14
What if it was another man
Sirin_fml 47
That's pretty disturbing, #4. But everyone's entitled to their sick preferences.
jadeleepenguin 29
I swear this comment was about rape the last time I checked the app.
DFMLharsh 20
It was. FML staff cleaning after the sick minds. Nothing new in there!
TheIronFez 13
We're talking about the FML, then all of sudden you just jump in about how you love Dane Cook. EXPLAIN!
TheIronFez 13
I think both sounds like a good option.
goozeo 11
Dane Cook is the Little Caesars Pizza of standup. You can't possibly get any worse
starile 20
Friends, comment #4 was originally a comment about rape, and then the moderators changed it to be about Dane Cook. We don't need none dat ish on this site.
KitchKraft 21
Well now he hopefully doesn't have a girlfriend to spend any of that money on.
sonasonic 34
Or better yet, the freedom to use the money at all.
ummwhat792 8
Did you stop him?
logicnazi 18
Stop him and say, "No no no, what have I told you?! You're doing it wrong. In the Alleyway sweetheart. If I see you mugging a lady on the side walk in plain sight again, you're sleeping on the couch!"
tantanpanda 26
"stop stop stop. you're going to get arrested. besides, you're mugging him wrong." -edited version of Hermione Granger
nidzk 8
Time to look for another boyfriend
sunnyray812 42
You should have run him over.
TheIronFez 13
Which would send only one person to jail and the other to a grave.
gearhead369 20
I guess that's your ex-boyfriend now? That's messed up
lol_mar11 8
Now your "X" boyfriend?!
TheIronFez 13
Please explain why you just said that. Please?