Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
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Top comments
igese 11
start jacking off next 2 her
Argumental_Rhino 8
You must be doing something wrong.
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Comments (201)
TheMathMajor 26
I can understand where OP is coming from. Sometimes you get into it and don't want to break your concentration. Don't take it personally :) or if it really bothers you, try looking up new ways to get her excited or to make her reach ******. I'm sure she would appreciate it.
TheMathMajor 26
Damn, I'm failing all over the place. I can understand where OP's wife* is coming from.
TheMathMajor 26
Edit. It posted twice, sorry.
moonfull101 13
I think you should spend more time with your wife so she won't need to be in such a situation
LoganBurrito 6
My loli senses are tingling...
NoReservations 9
Maybe she's better at it? It is her body, after all.
Shrouds 14
Replaced, until u get smart and bury all the batteries in the backyard.
Shiskie 0
Batteries won't stop a determined woman :)
Enslaved 38
This is when you breakout the video camera and record her, so that you'll have footage for your alone time, later on. (:
YOLO1117 1
Lol jk people jk hahaha I ot y'all good tho!!!hahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahajhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahhahahahahhahaha
TheMathMajor 26
It wasn't funny. Go back in your hole.
Grammar_Nazi_97 0
Wtf does anyone know what he is saying?
TheMathMajor 26
Translation: I got y'll good, though.
rainbowglass 5
Are you ******* high or something?
NoReservations 9
I don't think anyone was swayed by your trick there, YOLO. I really hate that term.
blacksswan 10
Like a boss. Ahahha!
YOLO1117 1
I walked in my bathroom today(girlfriend is stayn with me)and I saw her prescription for the ointment that removes the infection chyllmydia!!!!I **** her on a regular or close to every day basis
unknown_user5566 27
For the love of God, please stop commenting.
Enslaved 38
Excuse me? Where is this rudeness coming from?
Kbearlove23 0
Yea thats kinda rude everyone's Entitled to there own opinion.
OhLohd111 11
I love Enslaved's comments... She's been on here for a long time. Learn a little respect, son.
sincerelyjay 13
For the love of God, chill out. There is nothing in Enslaved's comment that could set you off.
thats_my_job 11
I think #95 was talking to herself. She's being thumbed down all over this FML LOL
YOLO1117 1
Lol jk