Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
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Top comments
Shockskilletz 0
ah you mean the boyfriend you dont have
FYLDeep 26
You can always wear a strap-on to compensate for your lack of manliness.
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Comments (164)
randomcory 0
Men never apologize for that. Boys do, men don't. Does she ever comment on your total lack of balls?
killabee 0
In mythololgy a pornatar was the concubine of the gods. But the correct spelling is pornotaur.
theprey 0
I guess practice doesn't make perfect. use one of those numbing condoms.
JokeMeister 0
wow u can spell.
JokeMeister 0
U better try something else fast(oops!)soon or she is gonna leave and tell ALL her friends. Sounds like she's fed up, dude!
Phustercluck 11
I just relax my pc muscle, once you learn to control it you can basically last forever. Or you can contract it during ****** and hold everything in. Much harder to do but it feels amazing when you finally go. ;)
mappletosh 0
holy crappers ur hot!
Phustercluck 11
flattery will get your everywhere
cutie0011 0
ur attractive :)
BoyFromTheFuture 0
a pornotaur is half man, half bull, half dong. see I told you it was real. -al gore
cajekraze 7
Maybe you should help her along first, then worry about yourself. don't be a selfish lover
dannodavis 0
85, total win.
yuggi1 11
I guess he left her high and dry.