Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML
Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML
Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML
Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML
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Top comments
waswashere 0
They need to piss off
TheEpicMilkMan 13
maybe your ego caused them to piss on your locker?
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Comments (162)
melissafleming 7
ha
waswashere 0
They need to piss off
Jonkbaby 23
one up them, take a dump in your locker
sinking_fish 12
21- ...take one in his? Or theirs?
urdirtyolduncle 15
No need to escalate the situation. Simply say your locker has gonorrhea, and whoever stuck their penis inside should expect a bloody trip to the bathroom.
hellokaitty13 0
Hey it's better to be pissed off than pissed on
tatababe 1
I dig your sarcasm
manny9852 4
definitely.
smartblondey 5
21-That's kinda gross but they deserve it!!
kat2943 20
Better to be pissed on than pissed through >.>
Marcelb 17
Yeah, that definitely means you're popular. :)
1happymummy 14
Sarcasm.
Marcelb 17
I actually know what sarcasm is, which is why I was using it.
The_Troller 14
You don't say...
kotabones 0
They do need a sarcasm font
The_Troller 14
^ That was for #10. I got ninja'd. Twice.
murdersquirrel 15
Sarcmark. It's real. Google it.
masonsweats 0
Me and my friend jake are actually in the process of making a sarcastic font app for the apple and android market. It's still being designed so if you have any ideas for it reply to this or send me a message. We plan to call the app sarcastica. (yes I did accidentally post this comment instead of replying so that's why this is also comment 99)
rokmonkey18 0
I think OP means he/she is suddenly popular because of the incident, #3...
TheEpicMilkMan 13
maybe your ego caused them to piss on your locker?
EatnBeef 7
He was claiming his territory. Establishing male dominance. And being a ******
Civilianswilldie 0
Why was that comment moderated? There was nothing wrong with it. Smfh
Civilianswilldie 0
**** the system and I hope the moderator dies along with his peace of shit family
TherealMort 0
Hey moderator. I hope you burn to death. And you ****** mom.
kristena103 14
U meant "in" not ON your locker
TheEpicMilkMan 13
I'm only human D': I'm bound to **** up sooner or later I'm sorry I can't be perfect like you :'(
bagofshit 0
**** you you look like a herpes infested justin bieber
jbfan23100 0
You mean 'you' not 'U'.
ImTheAlpha 30
Aww, Mr. MilkMan, døn't worry, the dude correcting yøu is just a hypocrite with nothing better to dø.
tylersign 11
Ladder? Naw. If you want something badly enough, it'll get done. Assassin's Creed style or not.
Osito2011 9
They probably pissed in spray bottle or something like that....sounds like op is probably popular or is a huge nerd that everyone pics on...
EduJav321 24
Ninja pee
Swiftly 0
25- *picks
jisaac09 25
If it is anything like the top lockers at most schools (all the schools I have been to) it is only about 4 ft or so off the floor. I could stand back and aim up a little and piss a locker full. My opinion is it wouldn't be too hard. But that is assuming it wasn't a female who peed in OPs locker.
freakinglaugher 10
The vent holes for our lockers is about 6ft. I of course could reach that, and not because I'm tall. Ladies. *sniffles forever alone*
demonmonkey 13
You know you're a cocky asshole when you're profile pic is if your abs...
jisaac09 25
OR I am not ashamed of my body. Are girls "cocky assholes" because the show cleavage? If I was fat and had a picture of me shirtless it wouldn't bother anyone, but I keep getting people like you who don't like that anyone is proud of anything. How about you enjoy the life you have and stop trying to bring people down that do? That'll make you more happy.
DKjazz 20
25 & 79- *pisses
AssassinsCRB 0
That game is awesome hence my name
OhHushDear 11
Yes, 117. Girls who show off their cleavage are cocky. That's kind of a "duh" thing.
ohSNAPyall 27
Anyone could have done this with a cup. Problem solved.
mmblack0599 0
Yeah Buddy!
Justin23L 2
When its a close up of JUST abs or boobs, then yes, it is cocky. Be a little more subtle and not just "HEY LOOK GUIZ I WORK OUT"
heyyitscharley 6
Popularity sounds fun in ur school.
Feklfekl2222 32
You haven't figured out that pouting your lips makes you less attractive yet, have you?
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Are we making fun of someone? I wanna try! Hey 6! You're dumb! *runs away giggling*
goldfishgod 20
34 - That's really uncalled for, whether it's true or not.
Crlnprz 11
BANG!!! Duck Hunting Season
HussREC 6
lmfaooo WIN!
mee181 1
I don't know why this got so many dislikes. Y'all do know she was being sarcastic right?
awwwyeah_png 4
It's probably a weird day for FML...
Crlnprz 11
BANG!
yermomsanus08 0
Too bad you wouldn't have any
ShroomsOnAcid 17
The most important question is, are you male or female? Pissing in a locker from a ladder is a feat I'd pay to see performed by a female. For educational purposes, of course. I'm not a pervert. Really.
rachelkoo 10
"No, you're not."
sinking_fish 12
24- Was there a point to the quotations? Or..?
hueybuntfosho 4
He was quoting everyone who has said that phrase
dannyfiona 0
Di ******* tto
skyttlz 32
Seems Legit
Buttsexpirate 9
That's nasty and wrong. Find out who it was and shit in their locker! That'll learn em'
Jakesterk96 8
*Waits for wanna be Grammar Nazis*
dylanmurre 4
I ****** hate grammar nazi's!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
******** My work here is done. HI-HO GRAMMAR NAZI, AAAWAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!
4Legend 0
9 - I just read "That's nasty" in Cleveland Brown's voice, am I the only one. . . . ?
Mister_Triangle 21
As a Grammar Nazi, I find nothing wrong with that comment. 'Ironic' mistakes are perfectly acceptable for humor. Move along
DocBastard 40
You obviously pissed off someone enough to get pissed on.
ninjuh_wingman 29
If thats what being popular gets you, I'd rather be a nerd.
vitty_z 16
accidentally commented and can't delete it on my phone. don't mind me...
girl112891 7
It probably was a nerd who peed in his locker. Compared to the popular guys, they'd be the only ones smart enough to manage making it happen.