Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML
Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML
Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML
Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML
Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML
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Top comments
19990231 29
Buying a new welcome mat is easier than replacing everything they would have stolen.
Vahex 19
Were they drunk?
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Comments (40)
Vahex 19
Were they drunk?
Mysterious_one 26
my guess is that some one took the welcome sign soo serious and thought it's welcomed to break in ?
mightycocoman 12
Probably PISS drunk.
Pesticides 19
I'm glad you capitalized that pun. I don't think anyone would've noticed how witty it was if you hadn't.
Raxy_fml 18
No, it's just Florida.
DLBL 23
Every good story start with, "A Man in Florida..."
Marcella1016 32
That was my first thought...really drunk, went to the wrong door, struggled to get in because they really had to pee, couldn't hold it anymore so pissed on mat...then realized they were at the wrong door and stumbled off. Only thing that makes me doubt the theory is what I presume was the time of day - who is THAT drunk in the middle of the day?? Either way, f your life OP, and glad you're safe regardless. If it was a real break-in attempt, good thing you were in class.
Allison_leah23 17
Probably
19990231 29
Buying a new welcome mat is easier than replacing everything they would have stolen.
desoxyn242 14
Yeah but he was probably still pissed about it
HighasaCloud 46
Doesn't change the fact that OP shouldn't need to replace anything, no matter how inexpensive.
19990231 29
Op doesn't actually have, wash the mat and he'll be fine.
WhackTheJackal 22
They must really not like that mat.
molly471 22
Guess they didn't feel welcome
Brandi_Faith 34
Or maybe they felt a little to welcome and comfortable.
shiny_shipper 28
They left a dent in the door? Wow. At least they didn't get in.
TordNorski 30
He was trying to use your bathroom.
MrSassypants 34
I imagine it's one of those cartoon dents with the outline of their face as the dent.
DARKDAY07 16
if it makes you feel better they probably messed up their shoulder pretty bad if they managed to dent a metal door.
bearstyle22 11
when you gotta go you gotta go
KhaleesiDannie 26
That sucks but hopefully they messed up their shoulder and at least they didn't rob you