Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
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Top comments
mopar383 0
I'm a country boy and if anyone passes anything we never think twice about it. As a matter a fact we find it as a turn on when ours gals aren't afraid of something natural
ceceisgay 0
if burping is your biggest problem, i envy you. why didnt you just laugh it off, guys burp too. im sure he woulda understood.
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Comments (36)
HahAboy95 0
Applause!
turtlemansam 6
you should have been like "I'd give that a 7"
InsidiousChild 0
Should of just laughed it off.
jazzy_123 20
I would have thought that was awesome!
Disbelief1 0
Did he applaud you? Second
gearsawar2 0
would have been better if u puked in your mouth
ActionManly 11
Not an FML, this is just nice.
null_fml 11
Oh heavens, no! Guys hate burping so much! It's such a turn-off it could make Megan Fox seem like Amy Winehouse! Any guy caught in the same building as a burp will invariably lose his lunch! A guy will sooner die from a stomach ulcer than release a burp, and he expects women to do the same! Every time someone burps, God kills a kitten!
hitotsune26 2
#5 is wrong. I'm a guy and I like when girls burp. No not a fetish, it just shows me how comfortable they are.
pixigem 15
#5 burping is natural, calm down. I don't think guys will necessarily make a grande deal of it.
sammy18f 9
I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm. smh.
24788 7
Yawn... this isn't an fml. It's not attractive, but most men don't really care.
marycharles 0
this is not an fml. who the hell cares if u burp?
iltby 3
Oh no, what a terrible life you have.
catatonicsleep 17
its just a burp, if he doesn't like you just because you burped he's not worth worrying about.
blocparty 0
Whats the book called you have as a profile picture?
happypapp12 0
Finally I have reached number one! I have waited days, weeks, months! Finally my time to be at the top of the list is finally here!!! I would like to thank fml and the people at fml for being here for this truly wonderful moment in history! Thankyou all and goodnight.