Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
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Top comments
richy90255 8
Next time if there if is a next time
Keyganator 5
Hey, they don't call it fun sized for nothing! ; )
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Comments (234)
nofear22 1
Hope your great with your tongue and if not you could always go through you grandfathers medicine cabinet and take some of his blue pills.
Llamacod 11
And how would that help? I don't see how a medicine that makes it easier to get an erection will help with small penis problems
VictoriaSchultz 8
There's lots of reasons that make people look bad..
AaliyahMorgan143 5
"not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean" Pshh try taking me around the world in a row boat and see what happens.
Llamacod 11
Well, since your comment has nothing to do with boats I have to presume that both large waves and an ocean with much motion would just cause you nausea
mollydarling 0
99- i wasnt being rude its a suggestion all im saying is you are 14 you shouldnt be saying something like that you obviously dont realize how what you say affects how you look towards other people whether you are quoting someone or something or not
Tempest559 12
She's probably hoping your rash will go away.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
There already a conversation like this in the previous FML...
krewer21 1
Bahahaha! Yeah, I am of Irish heritage in USA; So yeah I know smallish. Live with it *****!
Shadowvoid 33
I see the new profile :), but anywhom i would say i prefer mine shaved. Easier maintenence but i dont have a preference for a partner (female)
dellis44 7
I hear allergies kick in pretty bad at that time of the month.
bethanyjk 0
Shuddup guise