Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML
Today, I used a new face mask that claimed it would make my skin glow. I must have missed the part about testing for allergies. My “glow” turned into a bright red rash overnight, just in time for a first date. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML
Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML
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Top comments
Gubbon 17
I thought this FML was about eating at a restaurant.
saffy66 34
Who uses lube for that? That’s what saliva is for.
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Comments (11)
saffy66 34
Who uses lube for that? That’s what saliva is for.
EmDizzle2007 28
people trying to make up a story to get an fml published.
xXPikachuXx 21
it's for the flavor
LadyRen 20
Was that lube ok to eat though? If I recall right there are edible types so check the one you used was one it was ok to ingest.
Gubbon 17
I thought this FML was about eating at a restaurant.
EmDizzle2007 28
because they likely lied
shannon2348 14
First of all this is really badly written. Who in gods name uses lubes to eat some one out? ydi
Yudith 28
Time to get yourself a niqab. Or a balaclava, the one without mouth hole.
Dr_Alex 10
Are you sure you need "with" in the first sentence?
Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15
it's not "eating out with" it's literally just "eating out". and those of you asking "who uses lube for that" have CLEARLY never experienced how much fun you can really have with lube.
EmDizzle2007 28
funny thing... there's an ad for psoriasis below the post.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I guess you could say you made a rash decision.
randomnobody0622 6
that pun 🤣
loopsy_fml 14
At least you found out you were allergic when using the lube around your mouth and not around your privates