Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said, "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML
Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
I’m 34 and still have acne
raven_of_azarath 35
I’m 24 and have terrible acne on my back and often a little on my chest. Not to mention my face. I didn’t really have acne until I was in college, either. The presence of acne does not always equal a minor. Or am I too young for sex too?
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Comments (7)
bloopaloop 27
Well... you know what the issue is, so you got that going for you which is nice.
RichardPencil 32
Don't count the hours -- she's never going to talk to you again. Women hate chacne! They're certainly not going to wait around to see what you've got going on below the equator.
alex_jaguara 33
Aren't you too young to be having sex?
raven_of_azarath 35
I’m 24 and have terrible acne on my back and often a little on my chest. Not to mention my face. I didn’t really have acne until I was in college, either. The presence of acne does not always equal a minor. Or am I too young for sex too?
ojoRojo 27
I’m 34 and still have acne
Kyle DE Hildebrand 3
I had the same problem with acne on my chest but my face was acne free which I found awesome when in high school, plus my chest hair hid the acne very well Hahaha
AmbrosiaFan 19
Ugh she's not worth it...
Brightside86 31
I use to have acne, tried everything. Answer was change my sheets twice a week. Give it a shot even if you're sheets seem clean.
randybryant799 21
Obviously you two are not mature enough for sex.