Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
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Top comments
jonnymohio 2
Turnabout is fair play. Point at her boobs and laugh.
Shady06 0
lolz that sucks xD all you gotta tell her is..."baby it's not about the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean" :D than stick it in her mouth lolz
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Comments (81)
jonnymohio 2
Turnabout is fair play. Point at her boobs and laugh.
2gether4ever 0
seriously, what ARE you suppose to say when you see "it" for the first time?!
Zoockey 5
Not so sure. I can't even think of anything I'd like to hear. Except for something that is something similair with "let's have sex"
victoria4161993 0
time for inhansment pills
summerguy97 16
It could have just been a case of giggles caused by nerves.
Tyler_Posey 18
Something that suggest that you like it or at least you're ok with it. Come on girls what would you want to hear from us the first time we see you naked?
alex_mu 0
yeah YDI for having a small rod
CableX17 0
lol, my thoughts xactly when I read this
Lqum26 0
I'm pretty sure it's not his fault for having a tiny penis, it's because of his parents. It's not like we water and fertilize our genitals to make them bigger. I don't see how he deserves it.
MissAmz 7
Well, it's not like he had a choice in the matter if he does!
Sulphuric_Glue 16
How exactly is it anyone's fault if they have a small penis? The vast majority of us don't want to undergo very expensive, possibly dangerous surgery which comes out looking faker than silicone boobs.
kagome43210 0
baby penis
Jiplo 18
its FUNSIZE! its BITESIZE! its OP'S DICK!
Shady06 0
lolz that sucks xD all you gotta tell her is..."baby it's not about the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean" :D than stick it in her mouth lolz
Sulphuric_Glue 16
Nah... it's mostly about positioning your cannons just right so that you make the other ship explode at the right time
fergiesman 0
Maybe you're like really big when hard....but she'd never know...or were you already hard?
xxBAMFxx 0
Sucks having a smaller than average dick. I'm just glad I'm larger than average. :P by the way WHERE THE **** IS PLEXICO!!!
LewJH 0
Wow. Everyone doesn't think you're both lying and overcompensating...
Jadorrian 0
hey xxBAMFxx you know why we all know you have a tiny penis? because your name is xxBAMFxx.
chellefish22 0
HAHAHAA
rebeldevil 4
oooh... someones a virgin
Clitastrophe 0
Aww, she was just intimidated but the monstrous member. Or thought it was cute.
bugmenotmofo 34
Just tell her it makes the anal less painful...
JajaFMLer 3
WIN (:
AKBIGCAL 0
Use it or lose it, but I'm under the impression you never had it to begin with...
heathersebel 0
who ever said it was small??? the questionthay needs to be ask is what's wrong with it? do you still have some extra skin?