Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
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Top comments
ARISKomuniszt 24
wait... How is that an FML? I mean, surely it'd be good it wasn't anything too serious...
RichardPencil 32
Wayward Turd? Well, at least your child has a nickname already!
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Comments (19)
BTK4399 14
Well atleast you’re ok
RichardPencil 32
Wayward Turd? Well, at least your child has a nickname already!
Lobby_Bee 18
Sounds like your baby is messing around with your shit. Smack your belly to discipline.
manb91uk 22
For the love of God, get snipped, or tied... Whatever it takes to stop your IQ level from multiplying
ARISKomuniszt 24
wait... How is that an FML? I mean, surely it'd be good it wasn't anything too serious...
bigdaddyeric 37
Very cool avatar!
ARISKomuniszt 24
Eh, thanks!
_ali__cat_ 14
Oh girl I feel your pain. I've been having ectopic pregnancy scares all month so every strong cramp is terrifying. You were being smart getting checked out don't feel bad. It's a very serious and life threatening thing.
Rabite 28
I feel you. I had a comparable problem once but without being pregnant. First you are relieved that everything is fine but then you start to feel so damn stupid. Especially when your doctor has this look on her/his face.
tranced_ 45
Check your diet, eat healthy and stay healthy:))
Marta Perlicka 13
Honestly I think you are very lucky to have never gone through ectopic pregnancy. Unfortunately I was one of the unlucky women who had to go through such loss. The physical pain is not as bad as the mental and pain of losing a baby. I wish you and your baby all the best.
Marta Perlicka 13
*mental and emotional pain
GoogieWithers 25
Glad everything was OK, please recount this story when your child asks why their nickname is Wayward turd!
musiclover1316 19
Better safe than sorry!