Sex Intimacy You coming?

You coming?

snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

76 833

8 873

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

11 208

21 883

That'll do it

Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

41 367

9 142

sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

27 185

7 045

Hott

hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

29 943

4 510

spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

16 304

1 592

eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

4 515

818

Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

38 926

5 157

Do it again

thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

27 248

3 209

bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

45 298

4 995

gross - 20/10/2010 16:14 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

28 308

3 977

TurtleGenius 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

Probably the best feeling she got all night...

Phillay632 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:12

Pull out and spray a bodily fluid all over her face and neck, you're even.

classicalteen 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:00

NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY I'M FIRST :D ps. that's icky.

no_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:00

that's foul

Mr_Trumpet 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:00

Second is the best! =P And that seriously made me lol.

Osakhomen 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:01

Haha, that funny!

Theatregeek788 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:13

lmaooo!!

summerguy97 16

Thursday 16 January 2014 8:30

Mehuehuehue

classicalteen 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

second is sooo not best :] if there was a trophy, mine would totally be bigger :] lol

TurtleGenius 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

Probably the best feeling she got all night...

Elfkid21 19

Sunday 28 July 2013 10:29

Tool.

fuckmyl1f333 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:03

thats nasty im sorry

iPhanny 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:03

I'm sorry but that made me LOL. Wow, srsly #4?

xlovelessx 0

Monday 15 February 2010 21:56

woahh u look like me o.o

melkell 0

Thursday 13 May 2010 5:43

you all look the same

nina_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:04

If you can't tell the difference between having to sneeze and being close to ******, YDI.

lame16 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:05

LOL , hot.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

41 545

3 141

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

34 592

21 200

Today, it's been two years since my husband promised improvements if I stayed. He abided and we're good, despite a counselor insisting it was mere narcissistic manipulation, without ever meeting him. Did I mention she also claimed it would be "empowering" for me to leave, and set "a good example" on our kids? FML

519

219

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

47 583

4 322

Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML

2 543

232

Today, I agreed to go to a restaurant because I hadn’t really been listening and thought everyone was planning a coworkers night out. It wasn’t until the guy who had invited me turned up at the restaurant in a suit that I realised it wasn’t a group event, I’d accidentally agreed to a date. FML

207

1 124