Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
Dont crush his dream of becoming a dog groomer. I bet he did a lovely job and your just overreacting.
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
The dog probably peer pressured your son into getting high and then shaving him!
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Comments (265)
FrankyG98 3
just be glad he didn't shave his hair like Britney Spears
nikkigotswag 0
Your son ONLY did that when he was high....
dansco 25
I know its not funny but it made me laugh, I mean he shaved a dog! Dog hair is a gateway drug... Next it will be tiger fur lol
garzanator1313 0
who gives a shit if he's lighting up man, getting help will only make it worse I promise.... to make him stop he truly has to want to stop... drug test him and he'll do pills and cigs I promise u... thats what I di
adrayy 4
Well let's all write a freakin' novel on FML just to prove our points.
ShandiDell 0
I will pray for you! That seems really hard to go through!
cruzb14 1
marijuana isnt a drug, and it should not be illegal
AmaiSweets 4
If he is just smoking pot be happy in these days and times. I had a party last we and caught a 13 year old party crasher shooting up meth in my bathroom. wasnt thrilled I had to call the cops on my own party nor about getting my own pot related tickets but then to hear the kids age? Good luck with your son, and dont worry about the dog, my mom shaves her dog once a month it's really sad looking
organicmtdew 0
Don't forget your new razor!
writergirl23 19
Buying the sweater is incomparably insignificant compared to the son on drugs.