Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
Dont crush his dream of becoming a dog groomer. I bet he did a lovely job and your just overreacting.
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
The dog probably peer pressured your son into getting high and then shaving him!
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Comments (265)
ilovemetalcore 0
I think you were high when you wrote this.
lulzmylife 4
A+ parenting skills you got there. YDI.
dakanna 0
No point in getting him help. Try it sometime :)
2wenty0ne21 0
184, in essence u just told me my opinion is wrong because I didn't base it off everyones elses expiriences. I don't have the patience to argue with such ignorance. Go look up the definition of opinion and while ur at it google some facts about marijuana. Good luck to all u close minded people
HeXr 22
That sounds like me. Except replace "high" with "drunk" and "dog" with "cat". The cat liked it though.
juan1 0
If it was weed he doesn't need help, it would be better if u join him... If not weed then yes.
linnie_wesker 20
Weed itself isn't that terrible, but obviously your son is an idiot that can't handle being high, so yes he needs to stop.
becky_becks 0
is the shaver ok?
white16sox 19
Hey 127 wanna try spelling "hippocracy" correctly before using the word?
onilink118 6
Dont forget to get a new electric shaver! Lol