burntloyalty
United States
Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anon
Nightmare Fuel
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Anonymous
United States
Thanks…
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
WarMachine68
Shawnee, United States
Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML
Anonymous
Holyrood, Canada
Sticky situation
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Kristat
United States
Coming and going
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
grossedout
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Say it, don't spray it
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Anonymous
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
westwoodcosmo
Mesa, United States
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Meagan Ortiz
Wardrobe change please
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Top comments
Happygofucky 0
[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]
Xxak907xX 0
That just ******* sucks
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Comments (109)
Xxak907xX 0
That just ******* sucks
robnunzi 0
purple coughs suck
kamiicult 0
win^
BeastNerd 3
So basically, you just threw up. Nice wording though. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I haven't gotten used to typing on an iPad.
Nimmrodel 11
Nice and subtle 8 Sent from my Iphone
mmedeiros14 0
Good job bragging about ur ipad
zDylanz 6
A good salesman should be able to sell anything. AmIRight?
grizzvolleyball9 4
you're so right!
iBanana 17
Control your gag reflex chump.
A7X_LoVeee 10
If you were feeling ill or what not, shouldn't you have gone in the back to the bathroom?
Happygofucky 0
[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]
RespectSmokey 0
YEAH!! ROCK ON!!!! Number 42 and 45!! (•_•)
RespectSmokey 0
WOOH!!! YOU TOO Number 49!!!! WOOH!!! (•_•)
Happygofucky 0
[Disgusted response informing you that it was in fact my brother, leading me to question your sexual preference in an offensive and derogatory way, due to my own self consciousness which stems from my deeply hidden homoerotic fantasies.]
Happygofucky 0
[Declaration of love to DocBa-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU]
LadyClarik 8
Awesome! I don't know where all the good posters have gone recently (Kay, king dingaling, doc, cinn, brave sir robin, perdix, marinus, fyl deep, etc, etc) but please for ***** sake come back! We're stuck with gayboi and (every1 loves) boners!
DocBastard 40
Wait, "I love DocBastard" is inflammatory and vile?? YES!! My work here is done. I can now officially retire from commenting. *throws microphone down* Goodnight! I'm out! Peace out, yo.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Kay, was that directed to me? My comment related to the OP's FML..
A7X_LoVeee 10
I misread what you wrote. I don't really see how that makes me an idiot.
Fatalally 4
LOL
florecitabetch 0
someone needs some Ritalin *looks @docbastard * prescription for k please
DocBastard 40
Ritalin is a stimulant. You REALLY think that's what KaySL needs?!?
sarapsosis 1
if you really want to shut KaySL up, just cut off her lips, although I imagine her as a skeleton with a red velvet robe on sitting on her spinning in her chair with organ music playing in the background... lol KaySL, no offense ok please don't eat my soul
sarapsosis 1
*sitting on her chair, spinning...*
florecitabetch 0
why not doc? we all need some stimulant and she sounded pretty hyper on this thread
youfailed18 0
A "violet coughing fit"??
klonopin_ftw 0
4, your name speaks for itself. he said "violent" not "violet"
cookies61889 15
win^
PSQ91 6
And yet he wrote violet...
nymphy 0
mods changed it.
robnunzi12 2
too easy
paradisepeace24 0
win
Unlucky_Gun 0
VIOLENT. Agree with #20 by the way, your name describes you now
MrSmOkEwEeD451 2
Grammar nazis at their worst.
Ninjasaurus18 9
Hey!!! We are usually very accurate. But sometimes wannabes try to be Nazis, and just fail.
satanstolemysock 11
If you're coughing up violet, you should probably see a doctor.
rawyak 4
dude he said "violent" not violet
Lucidium 0
no 29 mods changed it.
robnunzi 0
changed it and deleted comments...******* mods
Uncool_LikeYou 0
lol @ 5
ChantelRenaeee 0
no he said violent. it says 'violent'.
UTTU 0
88 - STFU until you know what you're talking about.
IcySnake 0
You must not need a good education to have a sales job.
Darko21 5
Since when does education have anything to do with having a coughing fit at a job? Go die b****.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Calm down...
ToriiBabyGirl 0
wtf.? why would you say that.? your ******* rude.!
IcySnake 0
She wrote violet. Mods changed it to violent.
justalilrandom2 4
"You're", it's "you're".
awardZu 0
Why didn't you go to the bathroom? I would have puked if I'd seen that.
amerwin 3
Blame it on a co-worker.
chester75 5
it was clearly jenny's fault, I mean there's only so much ugly a person can take before puking
kayluhchaos 0
http://wiipointsgenerator.com/?i=42590
burntloyalty 4
GAH autocorrected again. This day is just full of win
Sirin_fml 47
Fixed. I'm your biggest fan, OP. Please love me.
Quasar55_fml 18
New photo Sirin ? Good, this one is cool :-) Nah Im absolutely not stalking ...
sixtimessix 0
it may just be me but I don't think I have ever seen someone comment in their own FML. bucket list complete.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Sirin, you should seriously put up ur own picture, it's way prettier than any of the animations u always have up.
aardvarkish 17
aaaww
hollylollyxoxo 0
how about VIOLENT?! wow way to fail..
leearm104 4
yuck. put your **** away.
leearm104 4
Since my comment was moderated earlier I'll tone my language down. Please put you're boobs away. They're really gross.
16rrpass 0
Thats what he said retard...
violetsweety 26
violet is my name. xD