Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML
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Top comments
CharismaGeek 19
Well, that's what drinking does to you. Do your best to settle the argument before things get too crazy, OP
ShadowStarEXE 35
Run. Run like hell. Let your parents sort it out on their own. They're grown ups now.
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Comments (45)
CharismaGeek 19
Well, that's what drinking does to you. Do your best to settle the argument before things get too crazy, OP
mds9986 24
As somebody who grew up with two drunks who did this shit all the time, don't go in and try to settle it. Chances are you'll make it worse and they won't listen to reason. Just leave and let them wear eachother out until they fall to sleep.
blazingshot147 19
Maybe next time OP could join in on the fun for some family fun and bonding. Im pretty sure science says alcohol can help people bond a little bit if its in moderation.
False_Stupidity 42
True #29 but it doesn't sound like much moderation was happening here.
ShadowStarEXE 35
Run. Run like hell. Let your parents sort it out on their own. They're grown ups now.
LivToFail 28
Yeah... this definitly makes it so I dont ever want to drink alcohol.
grrrrrrr13 14
Pretty ironic to be lactose intolerant and live in the cheese state.
hiitisbrooke 28
I mean, there's still pizza. Take it up to your room and the chewing noise will drown out the yelling. Hopefully.
Martnikk 15
I'm pretty sure lactose breaks down when in pizza
Dave_Davington 34
That's not how it works at all.
cheeeksss 29
Tip: If you aren't completely sure but itching to make a comment, just Google it real quick.
NorthernNoise 7
No it doesn't, but cheese has less lactose than milk does. Still enough to bother some people though
nickie_94 18
Oh man I think it's time to go back to school lol
G6Fari 18
Don't get involved in the argument, you will be forced to pick sides and that never ends well! Sorry however
Bowtie_fml 18
Well if it's any consolation, there's always lactaid to save the day!
jeansnpearls 21
Hang in there OP, it's only for a short while... Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!