Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Drunk mothers say the darndest things :p but that was really immature of him to hang up without letting you explain yourself
CinderellaC 4
I would have just laughed if I were him.
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Comments (101)
zandalee 20
Sorry you have a drunk for a mother. That must really suck. Once she has sobered up you need to set some boundaries with her. Good luck OP
sexygurllolz 1
omg i actually lol'ed
Branflakes78 13
cool story
TheEpicMilkMan 13
congratulations here's a crate of whole, and 2% milk. Enjoy.
pokefan813 16
After looking at your profile picture I said "epicface" and then read your username... It's a conspiracy! O.0
annagilbert 6
and that, my friends, is a sign he does NOT like you back.
br0ccoli 15
If there are some people on this site who are head over heels infatuated with someone because you think they're perfect, just imagine them pooping. And not just pooping, but physically use all your senses and put yourself in the room. I bet you don't feel all warm and fuzzy anymore. Not so cute, huh? OP, he just realized you poop.
PlaySpades 21
I think people who are turned off by the fact that other people have the same bodily functions as they do are immature. With that said, it takes time (and for many couples it never happens) to build a relationship where you'd be comfortable being in a room while that was happening so talking on the phone in a bathroom with someone you don't know that well is crossing the line. But there's a difference between "he just realized you poop" and "he just realized you could've been pooping while on the phone with him". The former is a stupid reason to hang up on someone and the latter is completely reasonable.
br0ccoli 15
Logically, people know that everyone poops. I'm just pointing out that if you're so infatuated to the point where you think they're this perfect being on an unrealistic pedestal, just imagine them doing something human. Whether or not this situation was the latter or former in your argument definitely depends on OP's age.
the_true_batman 10
Why go to the bathroom for privacy and not your own room? Unless you don't have your own room.
auzz1_pride 9
I'm sorry but I have seen this comment at least 5 times now and it's time to thumb someone down :)
PeteyPablo12308 20
It sure is.... Which is why I thumbed YOU down.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
26 - You're right... That someone was you. Congratulations!
unknown_user5566 27
*Shakes head* My "women don't poop" conspiracy is slowly falling apart.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Just like women don't fart, they fluff.
Gr8eStEv4 0
He obviously don't like you then? Or he would of just laughed. Sorry :/
tattoomommy10 0
and you didn't go in your bedroom because why
Harpy20 24
The mom is hilarious. Any friend would have done the same, even if only as a joke. It will be something you laugh about later, OP.
hecallsmedarlin 7
HAHA. Ah OP hate to say it, but I give your Luther props on that one, it was pretty good. I actually laughed. Like everyone is saying, yes you should have went to your bedroom, or even outside.. But the case is that you wern't. So should have thought about covering the phone with your hand when you first yelled through the door at your mother to tell her you were on the phone. Why break your crushes eardrum? How inconsiderate of you.
hecallsmedarlin 7
^Your mother* No idea where Luther came from..oops.