Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Drunk mothers say the darndest things :p but that was really immature of him to hang up without letting you explain yourself
CinderellaC 4
I would have just laughed if I were him.
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Comments (101)
False_Stupidity 42
Your mother is a bitch and your crush is a asshole
rammy125 4
Everyone poops.. Even hot women, next time you talk with him just ask him if he thought it was hot and that's why he hung up On you.
Vader33 0
I'd slap a hoe
Shadow_Phantom 26
*high-fives Alan*
anythingmustbe 18
everybody poops guy obviously hasnt red it
anythingmustbe 18
read*
NickKuiper 8
Word of advise: if your crush can't laughter that off, he is too uptight and sex will be no fun. Get a different crush OP.
Dallasluver19 14
U should get her back when she was on the phone, u should say, "mom! Dad says he doesn't want to 'do it' with u tonite bcuz ur not good at it!"
menacingsprite 3
FYL for having a drunk mom. The crush must've not been worth it if he didn't stay ok the phone to hear the rest of the weirdness.
alyssaann32512 3
Mute.?????
perdix 31
Mrs. Wolowitz?
jedielf 23
FYL because it turns out your crush isn't worth it. For future reference, the bathroom isn't necessarily the best place in the house to be making secret phone calls. Sounds get amplified and they echo slightly. But if that's the best place you can go, you're on your own until you move out or have your own room.