Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
epoh_fml 0
Not only did you make yourself look foolish, but your mom helped too. Congrats on "looking cool" though.
greeneyedgoalie7 0
yeahhhh that sucks lol but ydi
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
greeneyedgoalie7 0
yeahhhh that sucks lol but ydi
ny1996 0
not really, is he not supposed to know shes a woman?
lo54 0
haha sucker
gurlucrazy 0
ur picture is gross
DaniLupin 0
Well, do you think she brought them?
reyemrein 0
I didn't know that talking to yourself makes you cool...
dudeitsdanny 10
Talking to yourself is the new cool thing. All my friends do it! Then again... I live in a crazy assylum =( Kidding about the assylum. OP: Pretending to text is the way to avoid these things. If you're gonna be lame, be smart about it
craigkid 2
Ha ha ha .... o whoops I just relized that I totally do the texting thing. It's like a type of security blanket.
nomnommonster 0
agreed.
theian01 3
Asylum*
Otto12 0
^^^^^^above us right. were u in an asylum for people who show their ass every where? no excuse for spelling it wrong twice
dudeitsdanny 10
I didn't try to excuse myself. I wasn't sure how to spell it, I'm on my iPod, and I guessed. I also misspell broccoli a lot. I have no problem with my human imperfections, so I don't take time to point out someone else's for no reason. But you might want to start typing out your words, capitalizing, and using punctuation before you bash someone for incorrectly spelling a word they never use. You must live in one where they stick things so far up your ass, you turn into a dimwit. To the person who first corrected me: Thanks =) I really thought it was "ss"
ImaginaryFoe 1
How was talking on the phone going to make you look cool? It's not like this 1988 and that is some new and rare technology. Next time, try talking to him. YDI
zzyber 4
anytime your "trying to be cool" you definately deserve it...
tweetbaby14 18
well did you bring them?
MXavierT 0
I'm not seeing how talking on the phone makes you cool. If anything it'd be agitating(sp?) as hell if he actually wanted to talk to you in the first place.
dbjb40 0
yea but who really wants to hear that
BeeSkwaird 0
YDI for calling it a "phone thing."
thor89 0
Well did you bring the tampons ??????
greeneyedgoalie7 0
haha yepp I got the reference
iheart655 0
@lo54...I *love* your pic<3(:
packerboy1280 0
hahahahaha #33
thenormalguy 0
ydi, I am not trying to be an ass here but it takes some balls for a guy to ask a girl he really likes out. playing hard to get will make it less likely he will.
laurenheartsyou 0
@70 win.
iSwag 0
you know YDI right?....right?
samantha_durano 6
isn't that ******* Justin beaver or what's his face?
samantha_durano 6
oh, and that was to #112 btw.
saltz 0
since when did talking on the phone make you cool, if I like someone I just talk to them like I would anyone else. if they don't like me for me it just means I can do better
racer337 2
Ydi for not knowing your phone was on speaker.
MF12 0
(pretending to be 12 year old) omg dats Justin bieber how do u not kno him isnt he lyl ttly hawt????
dudeitsdanny 10
LYK! BACK OFF OK?! HES ALL MYN!
apfunction 0
#139: if someone doesn't like you, it's automatically their problem? not because you're a self-obsessed bitch?
josephwrobel 0
#77 WIN. :)
intint50 0
#70 win
MegMM 0
that sux!
Averizzle 0
Lol perdix has his own personal troll. He must feel proud.
Sirin_fml 47
Sorry to kill the buzz for him, but his troll just expired.
efyurlifeLol 0
that's what you get for being a poser dumbass next time turn off the sound or actually call some one ..........dip fail
doink 0
Wow, "poser". I haven't heard that word used since I was in middle school. Ahh, memories...
DerangedFox 0
^^ I thought the same thing.w
jerseystreetking 0
dumbass
pepper3434 0
Haven't people realized that the whole Look at me! I'm pretending to talk on the phone to look like I have a life outside of stalking you trick doesn't work? And never will work?
epoh_fml 0
Not only did you make yourself look foolish, but your mom helped too. Congrats on "looking cool" though.
ajrhockey5 0
you could of at least turned your phone off.
Fedor_fml 0
girls..…
amazinglyava 0
not just girls...
vaebouria 0
way more girls than guys
kevick93 0
has anyone ever succsessfully done the phone thing?
iris1012 5
uh, no. that's why we've heard this same story a billion times
amazinglyava 0
1. ydi for being that stupid 2. why would you put your mom on loudspeaker? it's pretty hard to ddo by accident..
cristy91 33
On some phones it's pretty easy. I have a touch screen and I'll often find that I accidently put a person on mute.
amazinglyava 0
I have a touch screen too and it's never happened to me..
boots9491 0
you probably don't have the same phone as her... it does happen
vespero 0
this is why u shouldn't obsess over guys
musicmaniac925 0
iyour supposed to call your voicemail when you do that for that exactreason
pinkpolsih 0
sounds like somones experienced in this area!