Practical

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

Today, after much dieting and exercise, I can proudly say that my love handles are now bigger than my ass. FML

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

Harsh

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML