Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, while in bed, my fiancé rolled over in the dark and complimented me on my nice buttocks. He had actually grabbed a roll of back fat. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
Idontgivedamn 0
He probably doesn't mean it to be mean, he's trying to be a funny in dumb/cute way.
gildedmuse 0
I am almost positive that saying things like, "I'd rather date a girl who was a little fatter" as if it's a negative is exactly the sort of thing that makes girls wonder, "Wait, am I fat?" constantly.
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Comments (164)
Idontgivedamn 0
He probably doesn't mean it to be mean, he's trying to be a funny in dumb/cute way.
Starfire22 5
I agree he was probebly trying to be cute But he really needs to learn that women don't like to talk about body image, stick with safe topics guys! like video games and stuff you do together ... it'll save you the agony of having your girl upset at you!
Ajjas013 6
He wants you to make him some muffins... Or a sammich :)
Averizzle 0
Muffin sandwich? Noo that doesn't work
hobobuster 0
[Quote="fmylife.com"] Now, you can comment ;) [/Quote] ^^That made me laugh. Anyways, yes it does work if that muffin is made of squished ham and cheese in muffin shape.
AngryNinja 1
op, tell him your muffin isn't interested in his butter and walk away.
Byrdd 0
who doesnt love muffins!? but really girls should realize they care more bout that ish then we do. noones perfect at all!
infiniti_G 0
Speak for yourself.. "muffin tops" make me sick.
madibby 0
I agree completely.
uranidiot84 0
maybe she is just getting fat. sometimes you gotta let your girl know she has to cut down on the sweets.
deathcab7 0
hehee this post just made me giggle (: its cute okayy? i mean he took the time to sing to you! isnt that sweeet? and even the skinniest of girls have muffin tops. i would just laugh this one off.
infiniti_G 0
Deathcab, not if they don't wear jeans 5 sized too small
deathcab7 0
welll thats true but still!
jade77_fml 0
yeahh what #1 said(:
jt0070 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
apfunction 0
#44: I think muffin tops are gross too.
dizzy2327 0
I laughed at this but i don't think he was trying to be mean a lot of guys play around like that
BooJeanIsIt 0
how about she loses a few pounds!!!
xcanisx 0
Posted on wrong comment
rosenwood 0
well it is a good song...
Tripout 0
lol this sounds like something I would do XD. also 21 u got me hungry with that image 0_0 XD
majones 0
The one who lives on Drury Lane? I know that muffin man!!
PattisonDaStud 0
Get over it fata** wat he says is tha truth And tha spotlight ain't nothing without u gurl And tha dance floor ain't nothing without u girl Artist: Gucci Mane [FEAT] Usher. Song: Spotlight
tehantone 0
stupid comment
nightELFassasin6 0
no guys don't joke about that stuff srry holme slice
whiffleball 0
Awesome
wings23153 2
Every one knows the most delicious part of the muffin Is the top.
Loosicles 0
I know you wanna get with this, but I'm just here to dance.
orangesodaftw 0
I agree with number one. Sounds like someone is just a bit too insecure with their body.
purpleisacolor 0
i hate how girls are always so insecure. id rather date someone whos a little fatter who says "sure im not perfect and im okay with that" than a gorgeous girl who thinks shes fat.
gildedmuse 0
I am almost positive that saying things like, "I'd rather date a girl who was a little fatter" as if it's a negative is exactly the sort of thing that makes girls wonder, "Wait, am I fat?" constantly.
purpleisacolor 0
huh i never thought of it that way, touche
DemonChicken 0
why wouldn't purple be a color?"checks roygbiv in his head" yea...it's a color. I'm confusedded
claireful 4
according to roygbiv it's not in the rainbow though, so I can not figure out why that was relevant to the rest of your comment.
carriema 7
V= violet Violet= purple...
Jeff2017 0
... no comment
NYKnicks36 0
he was probably just joking who gives a shit realy
leoofbodom 0
I HATE IT WHEN THEY LEAVE OUT VITAL PARTS OF THE FML.. DID YOU GIVE HIM A BJ OR NOT?
IsaacYorkHawk 0
My guess is he BEAT THAT UUUUUUUUUP!!! That's hilarious.
Littlebrraatt 14
Why does that matter? Perv!
Shmeaty 0
how do these women on here date these guys? you would think those kinds of guys would be single.
abmba 4
it's cuz some of them are sweet!!
claireful 4
yeah...he sounds adorable; a real keeper :/
anorexicbarbie 8
lol
amoreforte 6
aaaahahahahahahahahahhhHaaaahhaahhhhaa
christys25 0
what a moron thing for him to do. does he make u feel bad with how you look in every way? if yes is your answer, then you got a problem. I would tell him he needs to quite being so hurtful! maybe, just maybe, he doesn't know he's being hurtful, just tell him that he is. I'm sure he'll understanding. if not, then he's a moron.