Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Roll with it
Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML
Harsh
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
I'm getting there!
Today, one of my worst nightmares as an overweight woman came true. My boyfriend showed me a video someone had recorded of us exercising together, and who was mocking my weight the entire time. FML
Subtle
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
Food fight
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Manchild
Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML
Sharing my journey
Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML
Top comments
sheethapins 13
Use a laser pointer to show him what you wish would grow on him since he showed you what he wanted on you to shrink.
sinking_fish 12
13- In your sentence, you should have had quotations around "tht", a comma following, and a period at the end of your sentence. Neither am a "grammar nazi", nor do I care whether you feel like being a douche and correcting someone else just to pretend you are more intelligent, but until next time here is a little tip: make sure YOUR shit is up to par before you make an ass of yourself.
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Comments (169)
gazzdogs 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Laser surgery might help.
kevsnev 7
What time is it? EXERCISE TIME!
aKaClickZ 4
meant for the person who said first and was actually second...comment deleted.
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
I never ever heard that there were laser surgeries to cut off fat from people... I think you're mixing up with eye surgery; you know, that part of the body without any fat...
rallets 23
"here, here, a little bit of that, some in this area *circles with laser*, get rid of this..."
martuk96 0
smart guy...complaining from a safe distance so he doesn't get bitch slapped.
Pandaloverr 0
Chunkymonkey is your name too :3
MineIsBigger 5
FIRST!!!
aKaClickZ 4
You lack speed, padowan.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Padawan*
gazzdogs 5
No. they use these weird light lasers to help people look slimmer.
gazzdogs 5
The eyeball actually has fat surrounding it.
gazzdogs 5
I am very sorry, I guess I got excited about being first to comment. I feel very stupid now.
lovefml987 1
You got a keeper there
allen2688 6
Yea that joke is getting old...
me_gusta_eso 1
How come you ALWAYS see that comment "You got a keeper." on FMLs about boyfriends/girlfriends? And I agree with 22 , it does get old.
LaDeFreakinDa 4
Almost as old as "I hope you mean EX boyfriend." Almost.
anchorsaweigh15 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least he's being honest right? Diet and exercise never hurt
cBlackout 13
Very classy picture there.
DynamicDave 11
I like his pic. What's the problem?
slushpup9696 12
Let's not start a confederate flag fight.
Theactuary 0
Yeah, we know who would win that
DynamicDave 11
Of course I would. :)
docscientist 10
I believe the South at one point didn't like America, so shouldn't you hate the confederates?
DynamicDave 11
Ah, you sure could use a history lesson. The Civil War was all about states' rights and limited government. It was simply a political disagreement.
DrDilllonReese 12
Most people in today's age know nothing about the Confederacy and usually only wave the flag for racism and/or attention.
thisisafunnyname 12
as 91 said, freeing the slaves was not he reason there was war. The war was over political power and it just happened that the confederacy had many slave states while the union had few. the emancipation proclamation was signed to weaken the confederacy, not because of morals. thats why it didnt free union slaves.
anchorsaweigh15 0
75 why would I hate Confederates if almost all my ancestors from that time were Confederates? Besides I support the choice of secession, we were having our rights chipped at bit by bit by the government.
macy143 0
No actually, i exercised yesterday and my whole freakin body hurts
bubblepaarty 5
use tht laser pointer to blind him !
RetardedChipmunk 7
The word "that" has one more letter than tht so just spell the right way so you look less ignorant
MrsPegg 45
^^ Says the Guy with Retarded in their account name
RetardedChipmunk 7
I'm not ignorant, just slow
sinking_fish 12
13- In your sentence, you should have had quotations around "tht", a comma following, and a period at the end of your sentence. Neither am a "grammar nazi", nor do I care whether you feel like being a douche and correcting someone else just to pretend you are more intelligent, but until next time here is a little tip: make sure YOUR shit is up to par before you make an ass of yourself.
bn326160 13
You might want to get a more powerful one! :)
DrDilllonReese 12
24- where you used quotations, the comma goes inside the closing quotes. But I don't actually care, I'm just pushing your buttons :p
Emoney1 3
^^ ("tht,") "(grammar nazi,")
hexblot 10
Or just tell him you want to point out his flaws and turn on the room light :)
Manganimegrl 16
Umm.. 101, 30, it's actually just preference/style/what your English teacher told you to do/where you live, so you're both right, in a way.
andrewboygenius 4
Dump the douche
iam_yummylicious 12
Meh, she's fat. She should lose weight.
Cinn_fml 23
As her boyfriend used a laser pointer to indicate specific areas, chances are she's not actually fat. It would probably fairer to say she's on the heavier side of average, or just got a slightly bigger stomach than the boyfriend would like in a girl etc etc. Unless of course, he pointed at all/most of her, but what would be the point in the laser pointer? We also don't know how much weight he suggested she lose. OP - Exercise isn't necessarily a bad idea, whether or not you want to lose weight. The same goes for putting thought into what you're eating.
upyourzlolz 11
Why does everyone on FML think breaking up is the solution to every relationship problem
cmars3 7
111- because when a guy treats you like shit, it's better not to be with him. Pretty sure that's common sense...
YooEfO 4
Because they're single and can't put them self in the situation.
Cinn_fml 23
Cmars (#126) - Whilst what you said is true, we don't really know the context or full extent of what the bf said. For all we know he was kidding around and happened to upset the OP unintentionally. He might also have just meant to encourage the OP to be a little bit healthier. Yeah, in some cases it's clear that the problem is the partner, but this isn't one of them. It might be, but it also might not be. We only have assumptions for whether or not it is.
buckeyes127 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Smart man
drealmorales 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He should a PowerPoint. How to lose Fat
grahambertus 11
But he accidentally all his PowerPoint. How will he?
marinus_fml 20
18- You are so, how do you do it?
slushpup9696 12
Wait but guys, what about during the whole thing on purpose?
SpeshulK 0
Gotta say though, laser pointer is at least nicer than using a spotlight
smashitsouop 0
Y u no get skinny!?
StoryOfTheYear 15
This has got to be the most unintelligent legitimate conversation I've ever seen.
heavymetalman1 0
And my guess is that if his pointers battery died during his show, then you should contact a physician!
ladiesman219 4
And you should use a laser pointer to point at places he need to loose as well!!