Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML
Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML
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Top comments
karmynashley 7
u have a stupid bf
Doortje 30
Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen. SEX Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen. Yeah, that just wouldn't do it for me..
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Comments (104)
alexroxursox 0
Does his penis want out? Sell it to an African fertility sculptor.
Anaxes 5
Just make sure Bishop Brennan doesn't see it
sclsays 0
haha great
HeretoBlame 3
OP your boyfriend is legen wait for it........dary....yep
boopityboppity 11
You must have had some sort of brain damage.
ImFreeFalling 0
I'm a religious individual, I believe in God, Heaven, Hell, etc... but if OP's boyfriend seriously thinks that praying before & after committing a sin (yes, sex before marriage is a sin), then he's really stupid. FYL OP.
Cyosaric 0
Hail Satan. Du Kust Satanas.
ImFreeFalling 0
Oops I left out some words: "thinks that praying before & after committing a sin (yes, sex before marriage is a sin) *will help him*"
underguarded 20
lol!
Cyosaric 0
Thatsatupid. when I get laid, I clean my butthole with my girlfriends face.
RedPillSucks 33
Just as long as you're not using prayer as a form of birthcontrol, you'll be fine. But perhaps you should educate your boyfriend. Just tell him he's going straight to hell so he best lighten up.
Jaydos 0
Why is everyone against christianity and the belief of a God? I'm christian and its makes me really angry and sad to see so many people against it. Sure you can beleive in what you want but you dont have to hate on christianity just because we beleive in God and Jesus Christ.
boopityboppity 11
I don't think many people are saying that much about Christianity. They're all commenting on the undeniable stupidity of this individual, not of his religion. I bet our mods are surprised that the comments haven't needed to be closed yet.
boopityboppity 11
Well, it had to happen eventually, Didi. Out of curiosity, is your name a reference to "Waiting for Godot"?
JpasDa1 2
listen here as long as he's doing his job eating that clam, drinking your juices, and making you cum buckets then it's all good.