Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my date walked out on me after I told him I was devout in my beliefs, including saving myself until marriage. Apparently, meeting me at Sunday services didn’t twig him to my faith, and he actually thought religious girls were all secret sluts like in the pornos. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML
Today, I had a meeting with a potential roommate to rent a 2/2 space and it was going well. We laughed, joked, and seemed to get along and want the same things. At the end of the conversation, however, he said he needed to "pray" about his decision to room with an atheist. This probably won't work out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years after finally realizing I'm a lesbian. He then outed me to my very religious and conservative family. FML
Today, after agreeing to marry my boyfriend, he started spouting crap about converting to his religion, and how I’d need to take lessons from his mother on how to be a proper wife to him at all times, like, EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO? DUMPED. See ya later, douchebag. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
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Top comments
PeteyPablo12308 20
Go buy a vibrator... It'll probably be more satisfying anyways.
3mi1y_ 16
at least he isnt only in the relationship FOR the sex. in a way, be grateful
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Comments (128)
crazycrystal 4
? wow h passéd up sex ??? Omg !
LG_31 5
Atheism is a religion?
Viciousstorms 7
*double facepalm*
stevenJB 25
I cry knowing this is what the world is coming to
SystemofaBlink41 27
Who are these FML team guys?
anongrl 2
Atheism isn't a religion. It's the rejection of belief in deities. But I guess you can say its a religion against religions...
SystemofaBlink41 27
:O i wanna be an FML ninja
Keyman1212 14
Silly Alan, mentioning gods in the comments of an FML about Atheism. We all know you don't exist...
babyfireball77 14
This sucks op, but your boyfriend can still believe in no sex until marriage even if he is an atheist. He just has strong morals and wants to be a good person, doesnt mean you have to believe in God!
Serythvalker 7
My sisters friend once asked if I went to athiest church; I guess it must be!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Time for a great quote - "If Atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby."
Keyman1212 14
37- It just HAS to be a religion seeing as your sister's friend said it!! What else has she said recently, so I can adjust my life in accordance with what the great sister friend prophet has to say??
anongrl 2
38- I just seen that quote on asktheatheists.com. Even they say it's not a religion.
9R1NC3S5 0
It's a belief that "god" had ZERO to do with why we are here. And that there is no god. Antagonism like myself is that I'll believe in a "god" when I have physical proof.
Keyman1212 14
63- Can't tell if trolling, or actually likes insipid quote -_-
thehouseaddict 3
Atheism is as much a religion as off on a tv remote is a tv channel
lajaynay 15
Aye dios mio. I literally face palmed at #2's comment. Sorry for the rejection OP, but shit happens. He could just be scared to go to that level? Bide your time.
Zomg_Okay 27
75 - An antagonist is the "bad guy" in a story. What you're thinking of is agnosticism.
RedPillSucks 33
says the atheist agnostic antagonist.
HeXr 22
I am antagonizing you for butchering the use of the word antagonize
glittercookies 12
To anyone who still doesn't understand: the answer is no.
thebeautybleeds 17
You know guys, I don't think 1 was serious. Is that just me?
cyK0tek 0
SARCASM. DETECTOR. NOT. WORKING. OVER.... INTERNET!!
kayfeffa 10
Idiot...
PeteyPablo12308 20
Go buy a vibrator... It'll probably be more satisfying anyways.
prettypinklipsx 3
Lol that sucks OP. you must be really unattractive .. Ahaha he just doesn't wanna get up on all ..... that
ambowew 7
#41, or he bats for the other team.
prettypinklipsx 3
True, true. & it wouldn't go against his religion, now would it? Possibly a reason he is atheist?
Officiency 4
#45 talking about batting ;D
Tsunami87 17
3- how could you know that?
shrekus 0
Oh vibrators, where would we be with out them? Oh yeah, learning how to please our women the right way... Duh
saksxalmo 20
#43-- Or he "bats" for no team. There is such a thing as asexuality, you know...
superrobrob 0
Couldn't help but laughing.
xSonic 9
Couldn't help but THUMBING YOUR ******* COMMENT DOWN!
GoW_Chick 15
Couldn't help but wonder why you're so angry
prettypinklipsx 3
Can't help but wonder why this comment got thumbs down?
xSonic 9
I'm angry cuz i'm fat! *points at profile pic*
GoW_Chick 15
*looks at profile pic* Hey you may be fat but still cute all the same
xSonic 9
51- I'm pretty. You're pretty. Let's go to my place and stare at each other.
GoW_Chick 15
52- Sounds like fun to me, I'll bring the snacks.
imsosmartypants 0
Fail^^
GoW_Chick 15
It wasn't a fail 52 just got erased because it wasn't FML appropriate apparently XD
FortuneCookie3 1
56: fail
thebeautybleeds 17
Maybe he converted to some religion? Hopefully. The alternative really sucks.
ClassyCommando 13
Perhaps he is trying to cover up the fact that he has erectile dysfunction, or a penile amputation. You never know...
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Just couldn't think of any other excuse so he blamed his non existant religion. God punish him. Oh, wait....nevermind.
Mandy0325 1
Or maybe he just isn't ready just yet and doesn't want to admit it because every guy is always ready for that
AlaskanEskimo34 0
54- If that is the case then he should be honest. Honesty gets you into heaven. Oh wait....nevermind again.
Fancyy 0
Youu had to ask him to 'take things to the next level?' thats crazy that he didnt wanna do that sooner.
Thatoneguy911 2
Not everyone are in relationships for sex
Fancyy 0
Thank god.
imsosmartypants 0
Maybe OP is one of those girls that is more experienced and he's scared to disappoint? Shit happens
3mi1y_ 16
at least he isnt only in the relationship FOR the sex. in a way, be grateful
prettypinklipsx 3
But if she's ready for the sex, she probably wouldn't kind if he wanted to. Hence, the FML.
aptemrox 2
Haha your pretty you should text me
aptemrox 2
(girl with black hair)
laden_swallow09 35
Her pretty what should text you?
shrekus 0
WTF. A 15 year old talking about relationships like she actually knows, smh.
almostalbino 10
A horse and a dog talking about sex like they know. They're both fixed. Smh.
Thatoneguy911 2
Just because his family are atheists doesn't mean he has to be
Thatoneguy911 2
Meh, honest mistake. Maybe he converted?
GVirdi 11
Bro the fml team got chu xD
SecretMe00 5
She could be just assuming he's atheist because his family is. Just because it says "he and his family" doesn't mean he's actually atheist.
Shrike 24
I dunno about you, but when I date someone, I make sure I know all the big details about them first. You really think she doesn't know his religious beliefs or lack of them, or are you just agreeing with "I lack reading comprehension and an ability to admit my mistakes" #9 just for the hell of it?
saksxalmo 20
"more clearer"... Hehe... Please don't tase me. O_O
Graawr 7
Is he willing to give money for a stripper?
Nyx3ni6m4 5
I see what you did there
pablopoo 7
Why are u one??
Mercedes16 7
At least he's not a thirsty ass guy like a lot of them.
Trix_Disorder 20
What does that even mean? I must be getting old.
kateheartswaffle 0
A guy that's crazed over sex. I'm guessing that's what she means. :)
Mister_Triangle 21
I see 3 ways of reading t comment: thirsty-ass guy (a guy who's really thirsty) Thirsty ass-guy (a guy who is made of butts and is thirsty) Or thirsty ass guy (a guy who appreciates asses and is, metaphorically, thirsty for them )