Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML
Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML
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Top comments
karmynashley 7
u have a stupid bf
Doortje 30
Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen. SEX Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen. Yeah, that just wouldn't do it for me..
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Comments (104)
afroninjashuffle 0
or C: do the same thing
ThreeSheetsGone 12
At least it's not "Saint Michael, Archangel, defend us in battle...". Then you would have to worry about demon possesion as well as your boyfriend being a complete idiot.
amazingjane 0
so?
WillKill4Beer 0
Yeah.... Obviously you boyfriend has a Mangina!!!
mmhk 2
LOL
_krispy 0
well you got yourself a smart cookie there, don't ya !
gtrgdss 0
I'm gonna one-up you here. My ex used to pray for forgiveness after sex for about 2 hrs Made me feel so very cherished. NOT. I have nothing against those with religion necessarily, but sounds like you gotta do what Moses told the Red Sea to do: you gotta SPLIT!!!
Shinygirlnz 1
Agreed, get out of there and leave him alone with his hang-ups.
Anteezy 7
Where is the theological debate? : /
TheLetterZero 7
It's irrelevant. We don't need another comments section closed because of that annoying argument.
mola_mola 3
it's a debate not an argument argument implies that you're right unquestionably whereas a debate is an informative discussion
dacho 7
This doesn't even