Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML
Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML
Today, I'd promised my flatmate I’d sleep somewhere else so he could hook up with his Tinder date. Unfortunately I had a bad day at work and totally forgot so I went home as normal and walked in on him in the front room, balls deep in my aunt, who is “happily married” to my favourite uncle. FML
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Top comments
kamr3n 13
Maybe it's time for him to go.
Emma1562 35
I have nothing to say but eeeeeeeeeeeeew
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Comments (152)
voodoochild01 7
shift him with your husband and you go sleep in your daughters room
luk32 9
Wait... nobody else is baffled that OP has two bedrooms and puts the man into daughter's room!?
limabeans101029 21
I assume that one of the two bedrooms is where OP and her husband sleep, so there was only one room left for the uncle
Guitargod446 11
Hmm. Okay then.
alchemist27 13
It's always the uncles.
Witchylady 18
Time to get a new bed. New everything. And re paint the walls. Wash all memories and his masturbation experience from that bedroom.
Badkarma4u 17
Who cares, maybe his wife sent him a dirty pic because she missed him. When you invite people to your home. Sometimes people jerk and couples **** and people actually shit in your bathroom. It happens.
gabby9982 11
He probably drank viagra instead of blood pressure meds
limegreenpoopie 31
Ewwwwww!! Time for him to go!
anyoldnamewilldo 23
First of all, there is nothing wrong with masturbation when you get older. It is a natural thing to do. I do hope all the younger ones on here acting like sex and masturbation are wrong just because you aren't young and good looking any more change their tune. Otherwise, you are all going to be very cranky and frustrated when you get old. LOL Second of all, the OP doesn't say that the door was open. She may have "glanced in the room" by opening the door without knocking. If the door was open: He was rude and FYL. If the door was closed: You are rude and get what you get. F his life.
iwadasn 33
Masturbating in a little girl's bed is creepy no matter what age the guy is, and it's especially creepy when the guy is RELATED to the girl.
Setareh23 34
When someone invites you to their home and lends you one of their rooms to sleep in, it is extremely rude to ********** or have sex in that room (unless they have specified otherwise). Especially if you know it's not even an unused guest room, but another person's bedroom. Yes, sex/masturbation is natural, but you should have enough self control to resist it for a few days. They're not a hotel, you aren't paying them rent, the room does not belong to you, you are a GUEST. If you absolutely cannot stop yourself, at least go do it in the bathroom or something.
Octane_89 7
What a Lovely Uncle?