Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
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Top comments
BobNietzsche 0
"Only if you share, honey."
saailaway 0
"facial care" isle huh? :P
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Comments (97)
saailaway 0
"facial care" isle huh? :P
lmmmr 0
Sounds tropical.
cucuto89 0
Hunny, you don't need that, Just use your hand!
Emberlin 0
I actually use that and an Oil of Olay version for my vibrator...much cheaper and better
gtfwdr 0
this type of crap happens to me all the freacking time...so dont feel too bad...
paigeypoo987 0
if you were in the facial care isle then the people should have known what you were talking about... no big deal :)
Nikse 0
I'm the OP. I didn't say the name cause my mom doesn't know what a 'wave' is. I didnt get it. I got a scrub with beads in it. :p Also, I AM laughing over it. :D
BobNietzsche 0
"Only if you share, honey."
nerdie 0
LOL
MisterMuffinz 13
win xD
sportmaster525 0
maybe the "vibrator thing" will help you practice for when you do get some facials...
LewJH 0
Win.
lindseyxox 0
thats so perfect
Sawadee 0
great hahaha
CalebEatsZombies 2
Lolol touché
Greendarthpotato 0
hahhahhahahaha you'll realize how funny of a story taht is later when it's far enough behind to laugh at.
Wolfen35 0
Wow, I hate it when people think negative like that. Like one day at school, we were talking about what we had for breakfast out of boredom. I said sausages and everyone was like, :ZoMgLAWLZ HE'S GAAAAAYYYY!" What's your retarded moment with people thinking negatively?
ReasonsToFly 0
I said I accidentally came inside a pop bottle when I had to go pee, they were liek "Lolwut".
hilaryy_fml 0
i was explaining something to my friend and he said i needed more depth and detail and i shouted 'YOU WANT DEPTH? I'LL GIVE YOU DEPTH!'
153rdTrooper 0
Lol @ 74
biiiiizzzay 0
you weren't aware of how that would sound before you said it? but still, i say FYL.
SuperSpore 0
I think she didn't think before she spoke.
neonokku 0
woo
DamienTheRabbit 0
Poor choice of words, but I think people were more surprised that vibrators were available at a normal convenience store.
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
I would've said, "Depends! Does it have those little bullet things on the top?".
poopymonsters 0
how wood yu get headake playing that?