Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML
Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
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Top comments
speshlk37 13
You wouldn't like me when I'm horny...
flockz 20
HULK SMASH!! if you know what i mean....
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Comments (146)
LMFAOallthetime 8
Sucks to suck op
niadanac1 3
You suck for wasting the first comment with complete suck. You may be the suckiest suck that ever sucked.
doctorhook86 25
Sounds like she'd rather suck something green and mean.
alex1432 9
you comment goes perfectly with your picture.
Oreohugzpenny 4
#86 So true!
LMFAOallthetime 8
86- i don't get what your trying to say?
Toasty283 8
Blows to blow
speshlk37 13
You wouldn't like me when I'm horny...
chillyCholo 5
That's the thing... I'm always horny
tennisrapper1 14
You guys gave me a raging clue just now!
littlejx_fml 7
Yet the hulks pants never rip..
unknown_user5566 27
61- Maybe he wears spandex?
rdrr 2
Maybe he is a shower not a grower.
philbelfrage 13
61 - that's why he's angry, that's the only part of him that doesn't get bigger.
onlychildFTW 34
His pants don't rip because there special super stretchy things made by the guy.
doctorhook86 25
117: So why do they always get so raggedy around the cuffs? SHIELD needs to know.
clairesucks 37
#117 or it could be because kids watch the amazing hulk...
SpottedMew 15
Ain't nothing wrong with talking about Bruce's penis.
airforce987 20
Says Loki
ALpein 0
To Tony.
baddawg365 0
To which tony replies
darf1023 3
Actually, i think it would shrink. My reasoning is simple: when Bruce goes into Hulk, he gets bigger and stronger, right. So the anger is Bruces steroids. However, we know that steroids shrink the package. So....yea.
redstone7693 29
Its gone now.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Little horny are we?
mduffy08 8
Hulk HORNY.
onlychildFTW 34
You know if that thing did get enlarged as much as him that could be quite painful for whatever girl gets it. Haha
xCoLToNx 7
A little virgin, aren't you? Hahaha.. loser.
I_lost_the_game 25
What's wrong with being a virgin?
flockz 20
HULK SMASH!! if you know what i mean....
geg13 3
Hulk smash dat ass
lofty1012 3
His junk is the only part that doesn't grow actually
Fmlsea 28
and you know this how ?
Archay 13
Well when you see a big ass green monster with arms and legs the size of cars but no monster bulge you would not watch hulk again lol
the_anti_hipster 7
Speak for yourself 74......
Archay 13
*notice
ilovefall10 21
At first I thought OP was a man due to the subject but when I saw that she was a woman, I couldn't help but to think how this was a bad stuff. I thought girls liked talking about such stuff. :/
jmashini 13
Just you.
ALpein 0
My usual topic is Avenger boners.
rcgirl2 11
You're having a HULKgasm. That didn't work. It would've been better if it were Thor. I could have THORgasms all day! ;)
gracehi 33
Yay verily! Though doth liketh that don't ye, my succulent wench! ;)
RainingDaydreams 0
Or Thor's pick up line: "I'll make you Thor in the morning." ;)
doctorhook86 25
If I understand my girlfriend's fantasy correctly, pick-up lines and thunderbolt-powers are unnecessary when you're played by Chris Hemsworth.
somewizdom 15
I'm assuming your nipples looked like Ak bullets?
ZBaron 3
Hahahahahahaha omg
AFloppyWetWhale 6
Nah too small more like 50 caliber sniper bullets XD
Enslaved 38
What's the answer? How big would it be?
Bonzer 2
Big, very big.
thiscrazything 1
Oh, hell yeah!
TheDrudgeChild 4
A rule 34 search could easily answer this.
jannielovesjack 0
I'm pretty sure any straight woman would be excited to see a package that big OP. At least i would. your friends are probably just afraid of admitting it themselves and are teasing you to cover up their own feelings.
doctorhook86 25
9: Your profile says you're 14--you're way too young to be so interested in large penises.
jannielovesjack 0
That may be so but, it's normal for a guy my age to be interested in the **** right?
doctorhook86 25
23: Nope, illegal.
jannielovesjack 0
How so doctor? Please note no sarcasm. Just curious.
broim13calm_down 8
your 14. . . xD
gracehi 33
While it may be illegal for a 14 year old boy to view ****, that doesn't mean 14 year old boys aren't INTERESTED in ****. She actually brings up a valid point. However I have to agree that, although you are certainly old enough to be interested in penises, you are too young to act upon that interest. Just keep fantasizing about the Hulk's fictional green giant throbbing penis for now.
twisted_cherub 14
9- It's not abnormal to be interested in sex and sexual things at 14, male or female. But the fact that you're 14 means you haven't learned yet that bigger does not equal better. If a regular, human penis hitting my cervix hurts bad enough to ruin the mood and make me cry, I would not want to be anywhere near Hulk penis. Okay as a fantasy, but I can't get past the organ liquifying, free episiotomy giving destruction that would ensue.
gracehi 33
Yes. There is such a thing as too big. The thought of the Hulk's penis frightens me.
GuessWhatKids 13
9 now has a private profile ahhaah.
destroyer69 0
23 has a private profile as well, hehehaha I like shy people ;)
PvtParts417 15
It may be illegal for 14 year olds to view **** but everyone knows they still do