Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML
Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML
Today, I'd promised my flatmate I’d sleep somewhere else so he could hook up with his Tinder date. Unfortunately I had a bad day at work and totally forgot so I went home as normal and walked in on him in the front room, balls deep in my aunt, who is “happily married” to my favourite uncle. FML
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Top comments
kamr3n 13
Maybe it's time for him to go.
Emma1562 35
I have nothing to say but eeeeeeeeeeeeew
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Comments (152)
Ava_Darkflame 26
I'd like to give him a bloody nose.
vikky538 29
Time to change the whole bed room... And before you do that shift that weird uncle....
worldclassrager 41
Can live without sex but not glasses doesn't apply to him
Avashantu 18
There's always that creepy uncle.. Every family has one.
johncanact 13
I don't really understand the jokes that've gone along with this one. This is a grown man sexually violating the place where your daughter sleeps. Absolutely disgusting and completely unacceptable. A professional needs to be involved here-whether it be a police officer or therapist.
MubeenaM 4
Wtf!?! This is not a funny issue.. Or event.. U should really get him penalised! Your daughter is at risk! How can u even make this an FML
angelofsaturn 23
I hope he buys her a new mattress. If he needed to bang one out then he could have used the bathroom or hell even OP's room would have been better. I'm also hoping this isn't a young girl's room cause i would have dragged him outside by his dick and tossed his shit out.
naturallyfuck 17
Maybe op is the one who was burning that mattress
FenderM 5
Where would you like him to wank? If you put a guest in a bedroom, you can expect them to wank there. Unless he's actually involving your daughter in some fashion - wanking into her clothes or something, let the old guy enjoy some down time and just make sure he's got access to tissues. If he starts doing this in inappropriate places (public rooms) or ways (your daughter's clothes), take action then. But good lord, humans wank. Even wrinkly ones.
limabeans101029 21
I personally think what he did was extremely rude. I wouldn't be okay with a 70 year old man wanking in my bedroom. Not at all. If I stayed at somebody's house and they let me sleep in their child's bedroom I think I'd be able to employ enough self control to stop myself from masturbating there. If you have to do it, do it in the bathroom for pete's sake.
wordygirl 11
For one thing, that dirty old bastard would never be invited to a sleepover again that's for sure! It's bad enough that we live in Ohio, but to have to deal with this! Not enough bleach huh?