Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML
Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML
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Top comments
NthDakotaBeaches 12
This FML is lacking crucial details...
Amateur_Dank 17
You never know what you'll see on the train...
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Comments (112)
Nina825 21
There's a first time for everything ...
crudeandrudeguy 29
First time? Perverts who slip it out and rub it on unsuspecting women on the train are fairly common... Good times had by all.
GrainHauler 9
as bad as I want to give you a thumbs up #1 I just can't bring myself to ruin such a great number
pubeboy 16
That's ridickulous that somebody would do that
_mcrae11 10
I know its totally ridickulous
Amateur_Dank 17
You never know what you'll see on the train...
onlychildFTW 34
Maybe it was like the oscars and somebody has a wardrobe malfunction. Though probably not when it comes to the public. Haha.
phazetryhard 10
The first time but won't be the last
nomnomthebunny 13
im wondering how this was.the first time did they have no sex ed class or another partner?
doodlecloud 27
Well we don't know OP's age but regardless, they tend not to actually get a guy to drop their pants in sex ed class, they show drawings/diagrams/photos. I'm sure OP knows what a dick looks like, this is just the first time she's seen one in real life.
buffy999 11
She was on the morning train heading to work. so she's apparently old enough to have seen a penis before.
_minifty 15
Or she might be a lesbian, and has only had women as partners.
Aleys_fml 21
@buffy999 I had a job at 15, which is a little young to see one.
bapbap_fml 15
Riding a train and having a job don't necessarily mean you are of an age where you "should have seen a penis". I started working and using public transit by 15, saw a penis for the first time at 19.
NthDakotaBeaches 12
This FML is lacking crucial details...
Theglc20 27
Size? Shape? Colour? We need to imagine it vividly!
I_Like_Dogs 28
Or maybe it was a rude person, not a body part. Follow up!
Talis99 26
Now, see, I like where you went with that, #64.
FamilyAngel 4
"Today I met a Dick in a train. He was a total dick and shown me a dick"
enxhi96 21
Most girls' first time seeing a dick is usually awkward, but not like this...
addisonrose12 16
My first time seeing one was in my 8th grade science class... On film... And it was covered in gentile warts...
Angelrose2004 17
Really!? gentile warts? LOL. We will blame autocorrect for that one. ;) *genital
RedPillSucks 33
maybe she was in a yeshivah
Flaming_Pandas 15
Ah, the wonders of public transportation...
JKPwnage 27
pubic*
Flaming_Pandas 15
No, Public.
kayposion 17
That's riDICKulous I'm sorry I'm ready for the dislikes
ShreddedGold 7
You're late to the party.
lurker_no_more 13
you would have gotten my upvote if it wasn't for the apology.. you gotta learn to own your statements ;)
buckstop1 37
I MIGHT have upvoted this if you didn't capitalize the dick and if there wasn't a 9 minute difference between when you and #2 commented. That's why I always refresh the page before I comment, to avoid saying the same thing as somebody else
kayposion 17
Well i done ****** up then eh?
buckstop1 37
ye happens to all of us at some point
WCARlover 35
that man should be ridickuled