Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML
Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML
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Top comments
NthDakotaBeaches 12
This FML is lacking crucial details...
Amateur_Dank 17
You never know what you'll see on the train...
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Comments (112)
ezrajab 22
Huh
spicypie 10
What a dick
christopherwilli 14
You never saw one in sex Ed or something?
Aleys_fml 21
I don't recall any males dropping their pants in sex ed.
Lawlesssss 0
People, maybe she's genuinely religious and/or is saving herself. Not every adult is sexually active, or watches ****. Maybe she was sheltered. Or raised in the Midwest. Or the Bible belt. Or an Amish community. Or all of the above. Cheesus.
IronMan_Mk43 20
Maybe she's a lesbian?
Lawlesssss 0
F---, I missed that one...
doodlecloud 27
Or maybe she just means this is the first time she's seen one in real life, rather than pictures or films...
gracehi 33
That's what I assumed, 62. It makes the most sense.
shadowlurker_j 15
I really hope it wasn't on purpose...
Dexter83_fml 17
The guy wasn't having a wank was he ?
UmbraSlayer 11
That would be the worst I am so sorry
asdadfhowrh 23
Brace yourself, dick puns are coming.
beeferjay 34
they've come, all over
schreibergx93 19
It's cool to be prude, I wish I could go out naked. I think many of us do.
kpetrovski 24
A moment I'm sure you'll treasure forever.