Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in months when a stranger fondled my thigh on the subway. It was a blind man, searching for empty seats. FML
Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML
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Top comments
NthDakotaBeaches 12
This FML is lacking crucial details...
Amateur_Dank 17
You never know what you'll see on the train...
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Comments (112)
Catdragon 40
must have looked at a reflective surface.
captainsmegma 12
Soooo what did you think about that dick?
dirtbikeguy 14
It is a little odd that a dick would be taking the train to work. I hope it tucked its balls under the seat/overhead bin to make room for someone else on the seat.
widowedbanshee 13
Suck it up buttercup
cyberI7 13
Seen a Dick! WTF. It's a penis! I work with a bunch of dicks!
katyviper 22
My first time seeing a dick was when a guy pulled up next to me in his car, smashed his horn, and jerked off.
KagamineRinny 14
OP, this could have been much worse. "Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the crowded morning train. It was my Grandpa's, drunk off his ass and calling my name."
tigeran24 7
how have you not seen a dick
ThatOnePolarBear 13
I feel like a bit of context would be helpful.