Today, I was sitting in a bar telling some young dude to accept responsibility for his life choices. I'm over 50 and was spending my last five dollars on beer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML
Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML
Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
Today, despite my objections, a 50-year-old guy at a bar tried to convince me that my "biological clock is ticking" and that it was time to have kids, "before it's too late". He then offered his help in this noble endeavor. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Yeah, I don't think you should be doling out life advice…
lexiieeex3 32
There's a button for that.
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Comments (63)
fhlakd 25
Check out AA!
lantz4levi 19
Nobody said he was an alcoholic assuming you were referring to him having a beer
schreibergx93 19
That's a rash conclusion.
NthDakotaBeaches 12
If you spend your last 5 dollars on a beer, I don't think it's too rash of a conclusion.
DBudders 15
With only $5 there's not too much left to spend it on but a meal. If you're over 50 and only have $5 to your name, you're better off forgetting about it all rather than being a little less hungry.
Yooperman 2
Screw that. AA's for quitters!
MidnaLink 35
Yeah, I don't think you should be doling out life advice…
UserError94 18
If he was using himself as a failed example it would have been okay. Best way to learn is someone else's mistakes
coried91 28
I think everyone at some point tells someone not to do something, then goes off and does that something. It's hypocritical but we all do it. I usually end up saying " I'm a terrible example at what should be done but you should do better." Shit happens.
trollcrusher 17
"Do as I say, not as I do." -Countless hypocrites everywhere
DoomedGemini 38
I find it interesting people are hard on him when there was a recent FML of the persons big brother hitting him for accepting a cigarette despite how the brother was a chain smoker and alcoholic all were very hard on the op and kinda praising the brother.
Mpii 11
I think he meant it more in the sence that the other one should not end up in the same way. OP may be addicted in which case FYL OP. Still though, you dont nust end up in such a state overnight by accident so YDI.
quickfingers100 15
Rock and roll my friend!
Justy101 23
Maybe you should heed your own advice.
lexiieeex3 32
Should you really be talking?
ImmortalSyn 17
He is telling the other person to own up so the guy doesn't end up like him.
iwanttogotoparis 26
You deserve it
lexiieeex3 32
There's a button for that.
shupwhup 18
and thats how you die old and alone kids
Etweens96 25
Yeah I don't think financial advice is something you should be giving out. Save the five
Lalala579121 28
Unless the young person lost big in the stock market or Vegas, I doubt he was giving financial advice.
earlytermination 34
Priorities.
Emmiii_fml 18
It seems like a lot of people who are really good at giving advice aren't really good at listening to them :P
MrSassypants 34
Kind of like how a lot of marriage counselors are divorced.
toaster87 19
Because you learn from experiences, you live and you learn, and you can pass that knowledge onto others even if it's too late for you.