Ouchies

TMI

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

Body modification

Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

Pick me!

Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

Hole for life

Today, I got a new piercing because I was trying to be spontaneous. Now, I realize its placement is off and I hate it. FML

Piercing wit

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML