Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, a customer told me how unprofessional my piercing made me look, and insisted that someone else wait on his table. It's not a piercing, it's a mole. FML
Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML
Today, I got a new piercing because I was trying to be spontaneous. Now, I realize its placement is off and I hate it. FML
Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML
Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML
Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML
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Top comments
HeyImJuli 3
Piercer- "that's awful! What moron pierced this??" OP- "YOU, BITCH!!!!"
MsMeiriona 2
Refund?
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Comments (165)
MsMeiriona 2
Refund?
genesisnirvana 11
Lawsuit?
supernerd352 7
Pancakes?
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Hitman? oops sorry, too much?
glitterysnails 7
Bicycle?
Friaza 29
It's funny because the piercer insulted himself :D
flockz 20
herpes?
flockz 20
testicular cancer?
FlipABiscuit 0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
eshhayz 0
Refridgerator ?
Keyman1212 14
*******? Nipple piercing?
Waffl3z 8
Snawsages?
Sgt_Minty 0
I like how you think
zachherbert 10
C-C-C-COMBO Meal?
lilovatch 4
Biscuits?
bharted85 7
Lightbulb?
Buzzy123 7
He always gets thumbed down D:
ChampionKO 6
Apples?
bubble25_fml 5
My lovely lady lumps?
Majstr 23
Turtles?
matt120784 0
Giggity!
EnEl_Infierno 15
skittles
Denikk 0
Screwdrivers?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Pickles?
btnhdude 0
Troll?
Snaylor12 0
Unicorn?
Keyman1212 14
It's probably hard to receive a refund, if the guy doesn't "remember" doing the piercing.
daysgoby902 6
what the he'll happens to good fmls
poostool 5
78% of chicks with facial piercings also have clitoral studs
faithxoxox 1
Today, I was working as a piercer. A girl came in with a horrible piercing that wasn't even in straight. I began to laugh and explain the many levels of crap it obtained. She then explained I was the one that had did it. FML
krazy_glu3 0
My belly button piercing was being rejected by my skin. I had to take it out. I went back to get it done again and the piercer insisted that my belly button had been ripped out by the looks of the scar. He wouldn't believe me that it didn't get ripped out, and he didn't even remember piercing it the first time -.-
Deathhound 27
Yeah, would ask for that too.
tsume24 3
111: 90-95% of women who want a ******** piercing aren't anatomically suited for it, and for an even larger percentage, when they say they want a "clit piercing," they really mean they want a VCH. also, I doubt you've seen 78-100% of genitals belonging to pierced ladies. so.
FFPulley 9
111- 60% of the time, you fail every time.
poostool 5
Actually, 100% of clits can be pierced. It's called a vacuum attachment and a few minutes of suction. Most of that 100% enjoy that part too. I would know, I'm a professional piercer.
tsume24 3
that sounds dangerous. what about when the swelling goes down and the jewelry migrates right out? sorry but your desperate method of making money isn't gonna disprove the woman who's done literally thousands of them over a course of 30+ years (elayne angel).
poostool 5
I'm sorry, but as I said, this is my profession and I don't need some pup telling me how to do my job. The jewelry doesn't migrate if it's stapled in.
tsume24 3
stapled!? the **** are you doing to your clients???? do you even use internally-threaded jewelry? do you even know what that IS? do you know what an NRT is? Christ...I feel bad for your customers. let me guess, you're also a tattoo artist and/or don't know what an apprenticeship is. how bout this, I'll ask the woman who invented ******** piercing if it's safe to force an inappropriately-sized clit to swell and then staple the jewelry in just so you can take a client's money. I'm sure she'll have a field day.
poostool 5
Actually, NRTs are for noobs. If you have experience, you can free-hand the staples. The nice thing is that you can just give the free-handing pliers a quick wipe with a kleenex rather than having to throw things out like with NRTs. As I said before, most women enjoy the clit swelling. ;)
tsume24 3
you really sound like you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. I've never EVER heard of a professional piercer STAPLING jewelry to the most sensitive part of the body (or any other part of the body!). I would never let a pervert with a staple near my genitals. but hey, anything for money right? was there ever a day you took your job seriously? had you ever even heard of Elayne Angel before my mention of her?? (if you're a skilled enough piercer, you probably know her personally.)
tsume24 3
and I just re-read the part about giving the pliers "a quick wipe with a kleenex." the shop I go to autoclaves every single pair of pliers after every individual use. but you've probably never heard the word "autoclave" until now. I've never heard of sterilizing Kleenex, and I promise I never will. your poor clients ):
tsume24 3
one more thing...if you're free-handing a piercing, you're FREE-HANDING IT. aka not using pliers. derp.
poostool 5
You're so wrong on so many levels...and BTW, in my opinion, the person who did your face metal is a butcher. Nothing against you, as you're just another customer, but from one professional to another, they really gaffed.
tsume24 3
you're so far from professional it's not even funny. Elayne Angel pierced my philtrum (if you even know what that is) and other, very experienced piercers who aren't perverted morons, did the rest. come to Infinite Body Piercing in Philly sometime, see for yourself! you can ask them yourself if stapling jewelry to an inappropriately-sized ******** is EVER a good idea.
tsume24 3
oh, and please, do tell me what exactly you think is wrong with my eight properly-placed, totally healed facial piercings (obviously, the two in my tongue are not visible in my picture). can't wait to have another good laugh!
erick0619 0
I've had a lip piercing hit like a nerve in my lip that shit sucked balls
RetardedChipmunk 7
How can a lip-piercing suck balls?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Meanwhile experienced piercers all over the world are crying
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Nice story bro
erick0619 0
It just can?
tsume24 3
that means you got an amateur piercer who didn't actually look at your lip before he/she marked it... that's unfortunate ): one of my snakebites is higher up than the other, because my piercer knew to avoid that problem. /:
SammIght 7
When they hit a nerve they suck balls hard!;)
dynamitedeemac 0
What was his reaction?
lmfaoloool 0
Awkward turtle
overthelimit 3
"its not my fault everyone likes to drink on st. patricks day!"
turtleomnom 0
did you then proceed to let him pierce you again?
qyka 5
Ya probably. And y wood u show him ur piercin that he gave u? That's like getting braces and then going to the dentist and saying hey guess what I got braces!
tsume24 3
OP probably returned to her piercer because she was having complications from what sounds like an incorrectly-executed piercing.
emmaa3451 11
Lol you have a personal piercer? Haha
MzZombicidal 36
Lol. You're a bitch. Haha.
skylerXx 6
OP admitted to his own shitty job. That current piercing should be a free one.
tsume24 3
OP was the piercee, not the piercer.
crinx034 0
60 your pic disturbs me
ducttapewallet 7
77 your pic is appealing...
crinx034 0
Why thank you good sir.
btnhdude 0
85 your pic needs astealling.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
93 ?
Jdeluxh 12
85- appeeling*
tsume24 3
77 - thanks! I'll keep that in mind.
Blueglasscup 18
If I were you I wouldn't have felt awkward I would have been ******* pissed.
bullrider92 19
I agree.I would have told him to fix it and give next one free.
Burnbaby 0
Why would you let someone who did a terrible job touch you again? Get a refund and go to a better piercer.
HeyImJuli 3
Piercer- "that's awful! What moron pierced this??" OP- "YOU, BITCH!!!!"
hannahmorgan06 7
hahah omg this comment made me laugh!
AnagenisisZagus 13
61- Fascinating. Absolutely amazing.
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least he didn't tattoo you like the guy from hangover 2 :)
NomOnShroomz 14
At least you didn't get butt ****** by an elephant. Come on everybody start saying random shit that could've been worse! Actually, don't because that would be horrible and mea_iloveskiing is a dumbass for doing it.
tpike1296 11
At least the comment you replied to was somewhat relevant, dick.
Gunnarr 12
The word "Awesome" comes to mind.
NomOnShroomz 14
And why is that, exactly? No no wait!! Sober up, then answer my question.
TonierShadow 19
97- The actual definition of "Awesome" is devastating or destructive.